Penguins, Polar Bears and Humiliation Kinks

One possible reason that ShitzenPantz’s levied tariffs on a couple islands full of penguins is this:

He found out that male penguins sit on the eggs (while the wife's out grabbing a meal and shooting the shit with her buds). That’s like TOTALLY, against DEI policy. It's HERESY or some such! The Heritage Foundation must have had a mondo hissy, incel fit. I can imagine them banging on about how this violates some asshole god’s law and whining that all-my-wives-divorced-me-because-I-wouldn’t-change-diapers and other crybaby WHY CAN’T I GET LAID weasel shit.

Anyway...other victims of Trump’s tantrums?

The small Norwegian island and former whaling station of Jan Mayen faces 10% tariffs. No one but the polar bears live there permanently but a few military folks come and go. Jan Mayen has an economy of zero, according to the CIA Factbook, which calls it a “desolate, mountainous” island.

Hit absurdly hard in the Tariff Tantrum is Saint Pierre and Miquelon, a French territory of eight small islands near the Canadian province of Newfoundland. 5,000 people live there. They export “processed crustaceans and shellfish.” Their tariff hit? 50%. Only 20% for France though. Interesting, I’m guessing the orange stooge doesn’t want to be fact checked on camera again by President Macron. Ya know though, Donny MAY have a serious a humiliation kink. Could be.

Would you call what happened today in Stock Market Land a rapid catastrophic disassembly?  I mean, isn’t that Musk’s favorite hobby?

Has the two headed ego monster failed to notice that while they try to tank the world they’re burying America. Probably not OR, in their rush to exact revenge on the world for not properly bowing down to them, they just don't care.

US stock markets see worst day since Covid pandemic after investors shaken by Trump tariffs

All three major US stock markets closed down in their worst day since June 2020, during the Covid pandemic. The tech-heavy Nasdaq fell 6%, while the S&P 500 and the Dow dropped 4.8% and 3.9%, respectively. Apple and Nvidia, two of the US’s largest companies by market value, had lost a combined $470bn in value by midday. (source)

Elon’s been pretty quiet. I don’t think it’s occurred to him yet (and maybe never will) that he had everything and, by his own hand—without help, he’s destroyed it. His kingdom’s not completely dead yet, he’s still dangerous but he won’t be able to recover from this stratospheric level of self humiliation.

GOOD!

There a around 40,000,000 penguins in and around the Antarctic. They’re all laughing their wee patooties off at these twin eejits.

Going Up!

Our Art-of-the-Deal Genius President has levied trade tariffs on every piece of land on the planet. This includes the uninhabited (by humans) Heard Island and McDonald Island.

As you can see, Heard and McDonald residents are out in force protesting.

Just a wee reminder:

Tariffs are taxes paid by U.S. companies as they import goods. While the White House argues foreign countries will lower their prices to compensate, economists broadly agree that U.S. companies and consumers will bear the brunt of the tariffs. (source)

So then, everything we buy is about to get significantly more expensive. There really isn’t that much that’s made in America anymore. Look at the tags in your clothes—most of what we buy and wear was made in China (34% tariff), Vietnam (46% tariff), India  (26% tariff), Bangladesh  (37% tariff), Mexico  (34% tariff), Indonesia  (32% tariff), Cambodia  (49% tariff), Pakistan  (29% tariff), Honduras  (10% tariff), and Italy (20% tariff). 

I need new underwear. How much more will my 10 pack of Fruit of the Looms cost now?

Where is all the MAGA merch made? Who produces those caps, shirts, keychains, etc. The official Trump Store says they’re made in America by Americans BUT *oopsie* that’s a stoney-ass lie.

The ABC News 4 crew walked around outside the rally in North Charleston Friday, lifting the tags on several items. Many read made in China, in the Dominican Republic, in Haiti and in Honduras but not in the USA. (source)

By the by, the 34% reciprocal tariff that China faces is in addition to a 20% tariff on the country which is already in effect.

Are MAGAts willing and able to buy more of the bloated beast’s ugly and already pricey schmattas at an even higher price? Today, hoodies start at $85, sweaters run for $82 - $150, hats $38-$55.

Your brandy new, black on black, made in China MAGA hat is gonna go up in price from a $55 to the $84.70. (not including shipping and handling) Is it worth it? Can you manage it now that you’re paying 34% more for groceries, your rent is 50% more than last year and your kids are growing like bean stalks and need new clothes every other week?

Are you aware of the STABLE GENIUS Act? That’s an acronym for Standardizing Testing and Accountability Before Large Elections Giving Electors Necessary Information for Unobstructed Selection. House Rep Brendan Boyle (PA-02) first introduced the legislation as HR 4742 in January 2018 after the Tangerine Toddler claimed to be “like, really smart” and “a very stable genius.”

 This bill requires the principal campaign committee of a candidate for President to file a report with the Election Assistance Commission containing the results of a medical examination of the candidate conducted by a medical office under the jurisdiction of the Department of the Navy after the candidate has won the nomination of a political party. (source)

I believe, if we’re ever rid of this malevolent treason twat, this MUST be reintroduced and made law. Also, no one with 34 felony convictions (with god only knows how many more pending) and six bankruptcies should EVAH be eligible for office. He's qualified for jail but not much else.

Whole Lotta Love

Thanks to my friend Kathy, I happily have Led Zeppelin in my head this morning.

Warum?

She sent me a link to a Substack post by John Pavlovitz—Grieving People Who Are Still Alive—The relational deaths by irreconcilable differences.

He talks of the grief of losing friends and family with whom we no longer share a common sense of right and wrong. Pavlovitz is referring to loved ones who, we’ve discovered, we’re fundamentally morally misaligned. Maybe we’ve always been ethically out of sync? Maybe we’ve never occupied the realm of compassion together—we just assumed that this loved one was there too?

The good news/bad news for me is that I learned this lesson early. When I was diagnosed at the nowhere-near-ripe age of 22 with neurofibromatosis type 2, I understood that my life would be more constrained. That is, I learned that a large percentage of humans shy away from those of us who are somewhat limited by a physical and/or mental crapoli. We’re less fun and scary/sad to be around. We're unrelatable to the young and healthy.

Brain surgery scares the fuck out of a lot of folks (even when they’re not the ones going under the knife) so they back off, create distance; they underline the fact that they just can’t deal. I get it—unless you’re already in love (platonically or romantically) with a person, or share qualities similar to Keanu or Dolly, sick people are a drag for vibrant, unafflicted types. I understand.

Also, as a grumpy, oddly humored misanthrope, loving me is a real challenge anyway. Honestly, I totally get it!

The point? Getting back to Pavlovitz’s post, a lot of these compassion-free MAGAt idiots, long ago, self-airlocked themselves from my life. Good! The ones who didn’t, managed to show their cards early enough so that I could in-real-life block them before much (or further) damage was done.

Funnily, they've consistently failed to grasp why I’ve put up a wall. Not the former studio-mate who devolved into a compassion-free, mocking, bullying twatzilla. Nor the family member who called me a race traitor for being an outspoken anti-racist (AKA a sentient human being). Definitely not the other MAGAt, racist fuck of a family member who claims to be the BESTEST Christian EVER. These are just a few of the shitheels who will never breech my tungsten clad, reinforced concrete wall of self-protection.

I imagine it sucks to be fully grown adults without clue.

This morning, after a big night of dreams, I’m grieving the corporeal loss of the magnificent Scott Artman, Kevin Scott and the always amazing, caring, and beautiful Bob. I’m also deeply grateful for and in love with Ten, Jen, Oni, and my fabulous sister Celeste. They all stand (and stood) by me despite the unending surgeries, recoveries, warped sense of humor, and incorrigible misanthropy.

Moron ICE

US citizens are being busted and held by ICE.

Among those released is Julio Noriega, a 54-year-old Chicago man...

Before he had a chance to explain, Noriega said, the officers placed him in handcuffs and moved him into a van. It wasn’t until after he’d already been taken to an ICE processing center and waited several hours that officers checked his wallet and realized he is a U.S. citizen. (source)

But he “looked Mexican.”

Noriega isn’t the first. Back in January, Diné (AKA Navajo) people were being stopped and held by Trump’s Brownshirts.

Here in Boston, 370 people have been busted. “Border czar” and total micro-dicked, extreme fascist wonder, Tom Homan, claims all those swept up in the raids were child rapists. Sure buddy.

A recent Boston Globe report detailed what the operation looked like in practice. Workers were arrested on their way to a construction site in New Bedford, a U.S. citizen from Puerto Rico said that federal officials blocked her car and demanded three different forms of identification, and a Salvadorean father of two with a work permit and no criminal record was arrested on his way to work. (source)

Three forms of ID? Hells bells, I was born in Connecticut, grew up on the East Coast and in the Midwest and I don’t have three forms of identification. I have a Massachusetts ID card and an expired passport. Is that enough to keep me out of an ICE detention center?

Who are these Rent-A-Klan thugs carrying out raids? I've seen claims that they're ex-military, security guard types and cops working a side hustle but I haven't seen anything solid in the media.

Nine out of ten of the abducted are held in private prisons like the GEO Group, CoreCivic, LaSalle Corrections, and the Management Training Corporation. These joints have pocketed mega bucks from ICE detention contracts in the past two decades.

Unsurprisingly, there’ve been at least three instances, of creepazoid freaks impersonating ICE in order to steal from, harass, bully, and rape (something for which ICE is well known).

And what’s up with Signalgate? Is the mainstream media just gonna ignore that Hegseth’s fabulously successful bombing plan was to murder 53 innocent civilians (five of whom were children) in order to nail just one guy.

Couldn’t Keg Boy get some ace sharpshooter to take out the villain? I mean, Obama’s crew took our Bin Laden without offing 53 innocent non-combatants.

I guess Trumpy is incapable of hiring smarter, sane, competent, qualified people, huh? We already knew that though.

Cory Booker

 He started at 7PM last night and is still going. It's been more than 12 hours so far.

"I’m heading to the Senate floor because Donald Trump and Elon Musk have shown a complete disregard for the rule of law, the Constitution, and the needs of the American people," Booker posted on X earlier on Monday.

"I am not going to stop speaking, I am not going to stop standing," he said. "I am going to go for as long as I'm physically able to go." (source)

The man's not reading from the phone book to take up time either. Booker is speaking truth to power.

Keep going, Senator Booker!!!

Ice Ice Baby

The Fifth Amendment to the Constitution is:

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation. (source)

note bene: the amendment says no person versus no born-in-the-US-citizen-type-white-person.

Stated in section one of the Fourteenth Amendment to the Constitution is this:

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws. (source)

What is due process?

Procedural due process refers to the constitutional requirement that when the government acts in such a manner that denies a citizen of life, liberty, or property interest, the person must be given notice, the opportunity to be heard, and a decision by a neutral decision-maker. (source)

Another student has been abducted without due process. Alireza Doroudi who was studying for a doctorate in mechanical engineering at the University of Alabama was taken. It’s assumed, but not solidly known, that he’s being held in the Jena, Louisiana ICE prison. There were no warrants, no charges, no due process.

Did you know? ICE has access to Department of Motor Vehicles databases.

…ICE has access to information-sharing systems that allow it to tap into state databases. For example, ICE can use a state-owned network called Nlets …  to obtain information from DMV databases about a person, such as their home address or license plate number. ICE can use this information to decide whom to target for immigration enforcement and to locate the people it’s targeted. (source)

In mid-February The Intercept reported that ICE was looking to hire a contractor to monitor and locate “negative” social media discussions about the agency and its top officials.

As part of its mission to protect ICE with “proactive threat monitoring,” the winning contractor will not simply flag threatening remarks but “Provide monitoring and analysis of behavioral and social media sentiment (i.e. positive, neutral, and negative).” This includes regular updates on the “total number of negative references to ICE found in social media” from week to week. (source)

42 years late but we’re now completely immersed in 1984.

In Trump’s first reign of error and terror he hired the AI data analytics software company, Giant Oak, to sniff out “enemies.” That company was bought by Saifr which does, more or less, the same thing.

The government’s already got a spy-on-its-citizens AI monster watching over us—why do they need another?

“While surveillance programs like this under any administration are a concerning privacy and free speech violation … the rhetoric of the Trump administration makes this practice especially terrifying,” said Calli Schroeder, senior counsel at the Electronic Privacy Information Center. “Threats to ‘punish’ opponents or deport those exercising 1st Amendment rights combine with these invasive practices to create a real ‘thought police’ scenario.” (source) 

How long before born-in-the-USA citizens are grabbed off the street?

Question:
Why should any of us just unquestionably believe someone who says they’re ICE? WHO would believe a masked stranger, approaching without a warrant or other identifying paperwork, is for real. How can any of us possibly know that we’re not being kidnapped?

We can’t know. Can you give me a good reason why a "good guy with a gun" should refrain from stopping the abduction?

By the by, as of January of this year, private companies manage all twenty of the top twenty private detention centers. So, there’s a definite profit motive in snatching as many innocents off the street as possible. Also, did you know that ICE is continuing the US tradition of forcibly sterilizing women, particularly Black, Latinx, and Indigenous women?

ICE employs 20,000 assholes. That doesn’t include all their contracted kidnappers. Do you know anyone who works for ICE or one of their despicable contractors?

Based on an old Soviet joke:
   Headline: Bunnies are fleeing the USA in droves
   Question: Why are you running away?
   Bunny: The US passed a new law that they are going to arrest all buffalo.
   Question: But you’re bunnies!
   Bunny: Yeah, why don’t you try proving to ICE that you’re not a buffalo.

Due process is the thin line that separates freedom from tyranny. Barbaric Barbie’s ICE crosses the line daily.

Honeybees and US

Ten turned me on to an interesting article from earth.org about the vanishing bee population.

For years, media headlines have depicted a dire situation regarding global bee populations. While it is true that honey bee numbers in certain areas, especially in North America and Europe, have plummeted due to habitat loss, pesticide use, and climate change, recent data reveals a more nuanced picture. In fact, bee populations in some Asian countries have been steadily increasing. This contrasting trend prompts important questions: why are bees flourishing in some regions while facing challenges in others? (source)

On looking at the graphs it became clear to me that not all of North America’s bees are tumbling down. It’s the USA’s population that’s actually tanking. And has been since the ‘60s.

Note that the drop began at the start of Lyndon Johnson’s administration. This was just after John F. Kennedy’s assassination on November 22, 1963. The ‘60s were an insane decade, what with Vietnam, Robert F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King’s assassinations, the fight for equal rights, Tricky Dick’s ascent, etc. The bees were definitely unhappy.

In the Carter years, our honeybee friends started to relax and stabilize. They were starting to gain ground but then AIDs hit and Reagan ignored it all until two years after his friend Rock Hudson died. Before this, the Reagan administration treated AIDs as though it was a great joke.

This did NOT please the bees.

Under Bush Sr. and Clinton, the honey-maker population continued to decline. I’m guessing Reagan and the Repub’s frozen hearted disdain for their fellow humans really put them way the fuck off. I can’t blame them. Plus, all that ridiculous fuss over a goddamn blowjob. The bees just could NOT deal with the bullshit human antics.

The numbers continued to go down during the warmongering Shrub years. Of course.

They seemed to feel that humans in the US had made a turn for the better, for a more caring, smarter America when Obama was elected. Honeybee numbers began to recover and grow. The US was inching closer to universal health care. Marriage equality became the law of the land. Climate change was being addressed. Gays and lesbians could serve openly in the military for the first time. He banned Bush’s “enhanced interrogation” (AKA torture) techniques. And so much more. 

The bees and me were psyched! We’re coming back, babies!

Then Trump was installed by an assholian, racist electoral college. This was NOT the will of the US residents—not what the bees or anyone halfway sane and/or intelligent wanted. The honeybee population went on a downward spiral again. Four years of sanity with Biden was, undoubtedly (I haven’t seen the figures) not enough to reverse the cratering hives.

And now we’re in Hell again.

I’m glad that the bees are thriving in Asia and the colonies in Canada and Mexico seem stable. Here, even the bees are jumping ship. Only the zombie MAGAts want to live in the raging, apricot toupéd fucktrumpet's America.

In Search of...

...the perfect cookie.

This is today's breakfast cookie. I don’t know what the ingredients are. Honestly, I don’t need to know. It’s vaguely shortbread-ish and there’s a hint of pistachio. It’s magnificent.

Where did Jen get it? Whole Foods. I know we should be boycotting them. We don’t normally shop there but sometimes the call of the cookie bar is irresistible.

Why boycott Whole Foods?

For starters, they’re painfully expensive. Next, they were bought by mega billionaire Jeff Bezos who’s a big supporter of Trump. Bezos also owns the Washington Post—a once great newspaper that he neutered and shanked in service of the man who would be king. Also, Bezos’s Amazon is renowned for their mistreatment of employees, low pay, and union busting.

Whole Foods? They, unsurprisingly, commit similar sins as Bezos’s other companies, including:

• The outrageous overcharge bust
• The 'Responsibly Grown' farmer revolt
• The heartless employee benefits package
• The scorecard system nightmare
• The prison labor pipeline
• The Philip K. Dickian employee biometrics violation
• The CEO's noninclusive healthcare stance
• The allegations of racial insensitivity
• The GMO sweet corn slip
• The secret sugar in the yogurt scam
• The toxic packaging fiasco
• The arsenic-laced bottled water recall
• The rabbit meat boycott
• The $6 asparagus water rip-off (source)
  

Go to the link for details.

What does this all mean for me and my cookie obsession? Next time I have an undeniable craving, I gotta hit up locally owned and run bakeries like Fratelli’s, Ginger Betty’s or Sweet Piglet.

In any case, here, have some comics and memes.