Seen (and NOT seen) on the Road from the Pittsburgh to Indiana, PA.

First off “not much” should cover it but, you know, I like to give as near to complete accounting as I can. I’m all helpful like that.

1) No coffee shops. Let me repeat that for clarity: NO goddamned coffee shops!

I woke at 3:30 AM so that I could get to the airport in time for:

• My obligatory full body pat down. You know, in Switzerland they at least have the decency to do this behind a dark curtain though, even there, I didn’t get so much as a “This was fun — I’ll call.” mega sigh.
• The dismantling of my Chinese puzzle box packed rucksack. The security folks, of course, just shrug and stare at me when it’s time to reconstruct.

and

• The interminable wait to sit in my that tiny torture devise (AKA seat 11D)

The very LEAST I could get is a cuppa joe (Italian roast with a splash of soy milk, thank you very much. oh, do you have vanilla soy milk, maybe?) to ease my pain (that would be the pain of not having  Star Trek-ish transport devices and, mein gott, it’s the 21st century — where are those babies!).

2) A four story tall white, presumably lights up at night, plastic cross. I’m guessing, behind said cross, there’s a big box church full of those good people who swear by the new testament except for all that nasty taking care of the less fortunate and not judging others stuff. Either that or it’s a night light for a giant ogre. One or the other.

3) Directly across the four lane road from Big Box Church of the Bloody Cross is, naturally, a triple X video and book emporium. I think they may have, em, dancing girls too as the name of the place was “Live Girls” or something like that. I’m, of course, wondering if that’s at all related to the plethora of Live Bait shops that we passed. Or maybe it's to distinguish them from the Zombie strip joints which advertise "Dead Girls?"

Followed by no fewer than five additional dancing girl/video sellers and purveyors of such fine periodical literature as Buttman, Screw and Spank.

OK, OK, there was plenty of farmland too — major amounts of it, interrupted only by Live Bait shops, Live Girl shops and big box churches. And some disturbingly large, unrecognizable roadkill.

But no coffee.