Wild Ride -- The 6th and Final Chapter

Acts such as this were my downfall. I had lost respect by not carrying out my word but I kept myself in tact by not performing the feats that would have made him love me. He said he would love me forever if I did these things and still I couldn't do them.

At least I knew my brain was working even if it was costing me the man I was attracted to more that words.



While we were saving for our tent to call home, we were sent from our Cadillac home. We had to find somewhere to stay that wasn't expensive but also allowed us to come and go -- to forage for aluminum. At the shelter we had to stay indoors until four in the morning -- much too late in the night/morning to come and go unnoticed in neighborhoods and backyards. We needed to be out after midnite and until early morning -- Canyon said he knew of such a place; it was indoors and we could stay there for a week or two.

This was how, at forty years of age, I came to live in a roll away dumpster. We cleaned it up and gathered a mattress that was big enough for the three of us to sleep on. The dumpster became home.

Early mornings we were waiting to get our cash for the night before's take. We would gather alcohol, tobacco and food, returning to the yard where the dumpster sat amongst twelve others -- a yard that seldom had visitors. We had good nights and bad but we always returned as three men who had worked to gather supplies for home. We would take our sleep whenever possible. We spent time alone, in groups of two and, for the most part, as a family of three.

The weather was making a more than favorable turn and rain was hardly around -- we were living outside in optimum conditions. We bathed outdoors with gallons of water and would take turns soaking and rinsing each other. We all had toothbrushes and razors and did laundry to guarantee we were always clean -- one of Sean's many rules. We were seen by many people in the morning and throughout the days. No one was allowed to know where we were staying -- just that we had escaped the shelter and were now living on our own.

It was on one of the nights, when we'd had a particularly profitable morning, that I could no longer contain my love for Aiden. We had been drinking and napping all day -- a time when it was only me and Aiden. Opportunities like these didn't come around much. Canyon and Aiden kept the same schedule so it was often just me alone with my thoughts -- sometimes it was the three of us but rarely was it me with Aiden alone.

We sat outside the dumpster while Canyon slept, passing a bottle between the two of us, telling stories about life and whatnot, laughing. Our flirting was commonplace now but taken by the three of us as merely jest -- though all of us knew my intent was intentional.

I've never found it easy to hide what I feel when I feel something strongly and this was no different, no matter what the consequences would be.

As afternoon turned to evening, shadows fell on us as the sun dropped away -- we welcomed the dusk. I was entirely consumed by Aiden -- his presence, his warmth (which I imagine he still hides except for special occasions), and the moment which was being written while we watched.

Evening came and with it, bats from the woods beside our shelter came to life. They swarmed over the yard -- the sky was thick with them. We both became hypnotized by the mood that was set. I looked at Aiden with his long gray hair covering his eyes and shoulders, with his red tank top showing off the physique, betraying his true age. I leaned across and brushed the hair away from his face and kissed his lips.

Time froze. It wasn't until I put my hand to his face, as he turned his lips down to meet mine, that the moment was broken. He displayed genuine concern (or was it Jewish guilt?) with what had occurred and asked what my intentions were.

He detached himself emotionally from the moment and spoke of needing to digest what had occurred. There was a long pause between us as we stared into each others eyes. He then asked if this was a sign that we should try it again, and we did, longer than we had previously.

We grasped at each other with both of our hands in an embrace. I had told him I was in love with him and we kissed -- who knew what was to come? I was lost in what was and will always be the most romantic moment of my life; next to a dumpster, encircled with bats, with nowhere to call home -- I had found heaven. There would be a roller coaster of sexual tension and fulfillment, arguments that would end our special bond and lies and betrayals that would ultimately tear us apart forever. For this moment, however, we had found love between two men which knows no name and cannot be smeared or undone by events, strangers, or even ourselves.

________________________________________________________________

Brian is a bohemian writer with a fab-ola warped sense of humor and sarcasm, provided at no additional charge. He married a great guy and moved out of the States to Australia.