The Fine Art of Head Banging

I bet you thought there was just one way to do it. Hell, even within the relatively narrow spectrum of Metal, there are at least 3 distinct ways to bang.

On the surface there’s the whole hair issue. I’ve been told (naturally I researched this by consulting at least 2 bartenders as well as Jen, who counts as an expert since she’s so young. OK, so much younger than me, anyway), that head banging is all about the hair. Now, I can well imagine that hair is or can be a central aspect, a building block, of well executed banging — I firmly believe that there’s more to it though. You know, subtle shades, nuances, suggestions of a greater palette of emotion.

Gracious me, think of how much Malevich’s White on White tells us and that’s the very pinnacle of subtle — on the surface, that is. By comparison, head banging is speaking encyclopedias of...of...something!

Jen tells me that there are three basic paths at the root of the hair issue.

1) The long, straight or straight-ish do. This must be dyed either Billy Idol blond or Keith Richards black. It can also be blown dry, curling and flowing — length and color are key though.

The idea is to create a simple parabola — to begin by swinging those fluid sheets of hair forward, masking your face and then back. From there, you build in the up and down movement, add velocity until, voilà, you have Cartesian coordinates.

At the height of bang exuberance, your body repeatedly forms right angles, while the luxuriant streams of hair fly in inverse directions,

This dramatic style is favored by Metalheads. Granted, there’s many styles of Metal — OK, 3 that I can think of. Vanilla Metal (think Metallica), Death Metal (Pantera) and Speed Metal (Slayer) which brings us to the next hair expression.

2) The No Hair look. You must be totally bald (or close to it. shaved head counts) to pull this off.  The Baldini is generally found at Punk shows — think Screeching Weasel, a favorite of Jen’s.

Punk and Speed Metal banging overlap in that there’s a more shallow depth of movement. Instead of wide swinging arcs, you see short, fast head bobbing. Up and down, back and forth — rapid and, generally, with a grimace. Think concert halls filled with folks who’ve been tweaking for so many consecutive months on end,

3) The Mullet..... I’m not sure that I can call what they do head banging actually. How about “Lame Banging?” The head bobs, generally, in direct conflict with the shoulder movement such that the ‘banger’ appears, more than anything, to be a box turtle semi-frantically attempting to duck into his shell.

Is the Lame Banger really into the music? Oh goodness no! While ‘banging,’ they’re most often seen attempting to, surreptitiously, scout out the young female of the species (generally short and wearing pink. Ruffles are not unheard of). The apparel of the Lame Banger? The shirt will be a poly blend and plaid. The pants? Oh, who the hell looks? This guy makes train wrecks look fascinating!

Me and Jen? What’s are our head banging style? We’ve both had long hair and both been bald. We favor the long hair style of movement because we’re all emotive and expressive like that. We’re the Isadora Duncans of head banging!