I Don’t Know How To Be Deaf

I didn't get the manual. I think I was sick that day.

Imagine this -- you’re deep into middle age (46, thank you very much) when, all of a sudden but not wholly unexpectedly, you lose all your hearing. Once you get past the immediate shock, how do you function in the world?

Do you leave the hearing world behind and become the new kid on the block in a world where everyone’s deaf? Is there a deaf world running parallel  to the hearing one?

Maybe. Probably. Yeah, duh.

I didn’t leave Hearing World for Deaf World when my sound system (Bose  of course) took the last train for the coast. Granted, I’d gone to parties, formal socials and art openings within the deaf community but  I didn’t dive into the deep end. Think about it -- I was basset hound tired from endless surgeries as well as the shock of being suddenly, fully deaf. That and, throughout all this, I was working a full time job in a hearing environment. The company had just been sold, the economy was tanking and I was working my pretty ta tas off trying to keep up and not get laid off.

Not a lot of energy left at the end of the day for exploring new worlds with a new language. Unless of course I was Super Woman. Which I’m not. Sadly. I’d totally rock that costume!

In any case, I’ve got a few years of being all def deaf under my sash now. My motivation, my energy to go where no one has gone before (ah geez, hyperbole much, Donna?) is back. But, but....what now?

After work today, Jen and I were sitting at a pub in Kenmore Square indulging in post work Mint Mojitos and calamari (yum!) when a party of deafies came in. Heh, KISMET and shit.

I wanted to go over and say hello but got all shy -- especially when I remembered that I’m not exactly what anyone would call fluent in ASL. So, what’d we do? We sat at the bar, conversing in our pigeon sign (the norm for us), while watching, eavesdropping (as much as someone with rude ASL skills can), hoping to learn more.

I asked the barkeep, who was also waiting on their tables, how it was for him/what’s the communication like for someone with hearing, to wait on/serve a deaf party. Here’s what he told us (Jen, that peach, translated for me):

“It’s a challenge. I want to make sure everyone is happy. I want to get their orders down right. I need to slow down/speak slower and be patient. It’s not easy for me and it’s not easy for them. If we all take our time, it works out fine. No biggie.”

Yeah, he got a big tip. Me, I’m gonna start going to the South Shore summer deaf socials. Who knows, maybe I’ll learn something AND make new friends to boot.

Besides that, I’ve not worn my Super Woman costume in ages!