What’s the take away (and NO I’m not talkin’ ‘bout dinner from your local chip shop) from Sunday’s scary post? What did I learn? How did I evolve? What wisdom, thankfully gotten without the highest price paid, do I want to impart to my astoundingly awesome niece, her daughter (who is now, gasp, setting out on her own) and mia amica?
I guess the first thing I learned was that I should go with my instincts. Those babies are often right -- at least about the big stuff.
I’m wrong plenty of times on the small beer -- like the remake of Dark Shadows. Oh man, I LOVED the Dark Shadows soap of the ‘60s! A remake could only be fabulous. Right? WRONG. And, christ almighty -- when did the price for a matinee reach $13? Yeah, I know -- I gotta get out more. Oh and pay phones? If you can find one, they aren’t a dime anymore. Huh.
*Ahem*, back to lessons learned.
If a person can’t deal with you saying ‘no, I’m gonna take the T/a cab/walk home but thanks anyway,’ if they take big offense to that -- RED FLAG!
Look for the red flags. Even if that new, easily offended person isn’t a predator, they’re assuredly, ultimately more trouble then they’re worth. An ego that fragile = energy vampire. Draining you dry is what they do. Not intentionally -- it’s just how they’re programmed. Walk away. Fast. We can’t save/help/act as a balm for everyone on the planet. Save it for those you care about already.
Love yourself and know that YES, your concerns, your fears, your uneasiness and your needs are valid. Pay attention to them. Respect them. Respect yourself.
No, I’m not advocating that we all crawl into safe, fleece lined pods and only speak to one another in valiumed tones about fluffy bunnies, sunsets and Disneyified princesses. Fuck no! I sure as hell didn’t do that after either of my way too damn close to awful deathsville experiences. There’s a Grand Canyon size chasm between paying attention/minding that skeevy vibe you’ve got about someone and being afraid to leave the house, talk to strangers or live, baby, live.
The world is one giant grey area. There is precious little that’s black or white. Close to nada that is pure evil or pure good.
The person who attacked me was male -- the person who comforted me, held me while I cried and said ‘oh hell yeah, leave the lights on all night. Leave ‘em on until you’re ready to turn them off. So what you’re 23 -- break out the stuffed animals! And I’ll stay with you until you want to be alone.’ Male.
I’ve had female attackers and female best buds, male attackers and male best buds. This is about predators not gender assignment.
OK, kittens are pure good -- but, DUH, you knew that.
I guess the first thing I learned was that I should go with my instincts. Those babies are often right -- at least about the big stuff.
I’m wrong plenty of times on the small beer -- like the remake of Dark Shadows. Oh man, I LOVED the Dark Shadows soap of the ‘60s! A remake could only be fabulous. Right? WRONG. And, christ almighty -- when did the price for a matinee reach $13? Yeah, I know -- I gotta get out more. Oh and pay phones? If you can find one, they aren’t a dime anymore. Huh.
*Ahem*, back to lessons learned.
Look for the red flags. Even if that new, easily offended person isn’t a predator, they’re assuredly, ultimately more trouble then they’re worth. An ego that fragile = energy vampire. Draining you dry is what they do. Not intentionally -- it’s just how they’re programmed. Walk away. Fast. We can’t save/help/act as a balm for everyone on the planet. Save it for those you care about already.
Love yourself and know that YES, your concerns, your fears, your uneasiness and your needs are valid. Pay attention to them. Respect them. Respect yourself.
No, I’m not advocating that we all crawl into safe, fleece lined pods and only speak to one another in valiumed tones about fluffy bunnies, sunsets and Disneyified princesses. Fuck no! I sure as hell didn’t do that after either of my way too damn close to awful deathsville experiences. There’s a Grand Canyon size chasm between paying attention/minding that skeevy vibe you’ve got about someone and being afraid to leave the house, talk to strangers or live, baby, live.
The world is one giant grey area. There is precious little that’s black or white. Close to nada that is pure evil or pure good.
The person who attacked me was male -- the person who comforted me, held me while I cried and said ‘oh hell yeah, leave the lights on all night. Leave ‘em on until you’re ready to turn them off. So what you’re 23 -- break out the stuffed animals! And I’ll stay with you until you want to be alone.’ Male.I’ve had female attackers and female best buds, male attackers and male best buds. This is about predators not gender assignment.
OK, kittens are pure good -- but, DUH, you knew that.
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