Holiday Celebrate

Yeah, I realize it’s early but I’ve been reminded of holiday traditions via Miss Conduct in today’s Boston Globe Magazine section. A guy, presumably a guy -- unfair as that assumption is -- wants to get out of spending Christmas with his new girlfriend’s family. (Unfortunately it’s behind a pay wall so I can’t link to it.)

Mein gott, I fully grok his position! He doesn’t want to offend or hurt his squeeze BUT he doesn’t want to fly during the crazy busy, most expensive travel time of the year AND he doesn’t want to spend a day/weekend/week of his very precious vaca time working. Honestly now, being all nicey, nice, diplomatic super social sweetie for even a day is hard fucking work let alone a full weekend. That's hard with your own family let alone with someone else's.

Luckily, I’ve never had this problem really. My own parents understood that holiday travel was just too hard on their mega claustrophobic, crowd averse second child. Then, my first adult big time serious beau was Jewish. I joined him for a bit of Hanukah celebration at his folks down in Fort Lauderdale (beach in winter -- oh fuck yeah, I’m there!) which, low key as it was, was too much for me.

When The Amazing Bob and I started celebrating holidays together -- well, we were of spectacularly like minds anyway so negotiations were sublimely simple. It was all about planning what WE thought would make a pleasant, special day. For Thanksgiving -- yeah, we make some turkey, a whole mess ‘o’ veggies, mashed sweet potatoes and a zillion pies. That one’s all traditional but we’re home by ourselves and enjoy the quiet. Jen’s family now celebrates over at her sister Erin’s house, just next door. We go over and say a post meal hello to all but that’s the extent of our social responsibilities.

Christmas? I was raised Catholic with too many years of parochial school. Bob wasn’t raised with church going but Christian holidays were observed in his parent’s house. The observance included, in both childhood homes, the biggest pitched battles between our mothers and fathers of the year. Epic fights, they were. It was as though this was their big tradition -- planned for months, possibly rehearsed, in advance of the actual day.

What did our parents choose to war over on Christmas Day? Money (spent and not), the food’s preparation, the appropriateness of a gift for child X or Y, little green men from Alpha Centauri visiting just as we were sitting down to eat. WHO invited them and where will they sit!!!?

Okay, not so much on that last bit but you get the idea.

Bob and I don’t go wild on the gift front. The whole consumer frenzy turns us both off. Having said that though, neither of us will turn down the odd inexpensive bijou. Of course! What else do we do? We, naturally, get a bunch of fun movies to watch and send out for Chinese food. Crab Rangoons,,,mmmmmmm!

We both know and accept that life means change -- nothing stays in one place for long. We’re totally down with our man Hereclitus’ words of wisdom:

'There is nothing permanent except change.' 

'No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.'

The day, however, is about our time -- spent and enjoyed together. That’s our iron clad tradition.