The Dreaded First Noble Truth

This is always a bumpy time of year here in Casa Valhalla. It’s a thrilling and unusual winter when one of us isn’t in Mass General Hospital for one issue or another. It's unhelpful that the days are at their shortest and often grey.

Last year was Jen’s turn with her bilateral radical mastectomy and reconstruction (AKA Boobectomy and Bionic-izing). The year before was The Amazing Bob’s Gentleman Bits ordeal. 2010 was the Heart Attack-ack-ack year with quadruple bypass. Somewhere, back in there, were a few little eye surgery jobbies for me as well as the last big brain do up.

Fun, fun, fun.

It’s right about now that I begin cursing the Buddha and his goddamned First Noble Truth of dukkha (defined variously as stress, unsatisfactoriness, suffering)  

"Now this, monks, is the Noble Truth of dukkha: Birth is dukkha, aging is dukkha, death is dukkha; sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, & despair are dukkha; association with the unbeloved is dukkha; separation from the loved is dukkha; not getting what is wanted is dukkha. In short, the five clinging-aggregates are dukkha."

From Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta: Setting the Wheel of Dhamma in Motion

and from Buddhanet (yes, there really is a site, a good one too, called Buddhanet. I love it!)

‘The First Noble Truth is that the suffering of birth, old age, sickness and death is unavoidable. Some fortunate people may now be enjoying relatively happy and carefree lives, but it is only a matter of time before they, too, will experience suffering of some kind. What is also true is that this suffering — whether it is a cold, an injury or a sad event — must be borne alone. When you have a cold, it is your cold and only you experience how it feels for you. In another example, a man may be very concerned that his mother is growing old. No matter how much he cares for her he cannot take her place and suffer the pains of aging on her behalf. In the same way, if a boy falls very ill, his mother cannot experience the pains of his illness for him. The Buddha taught people to recognize that suffering is part of life and that it cannot be avoided.’

So, what to do, what to do so that we don’t become overwhelmed? Stress and depression can break down the body and mind’s ability to function in tippy top form.

What am I doing so that I don’t lose heart and become all self-fulfilling dukkha?

Camera in pocket, I’m riding my trike for an hour each day. Some of the shots I cadge are definitely watercolors waiting to be painted too.

I quit my very stressful, frustrating job -- the quitting without another job to fall into is molto anxiety inspiring but that will be short term. Long term? This is gonna be awesome plus. My mind is already opening to a 1,003 blithe and salubrious possibilities.

I’m doing more stretching, regular deep breathing exercises and attempting to avoid lazy eating habits (sandwiches! nachos! crab rangoons!) and limiting caffeine and alcohol. Yes, I’d really like one more cuppa joe and wouldn’t it be splendid with a bit of Jamison’s in it? Yes and no, not every day anyway.

Hardest thing of all? Not fifth, sixth and 500th guessing my decision to leave The Stress Factory. Second guessing, second thinking, is a good thing. That is, it’s always good for me to get the widest view possible on actions and choices. I can’t learn if I don’t open myself up to alternate perspectives. Fussing and obsessing endlessly only leads to dukkha though.

Maybe a nice weekend in Bermuda would help?