Nom Du Jour

I want to change my name. Yes, yes, yezzzzzz, I’ve been saying this for eons. I even picked out new appellations in my very first blog post. Hell, The Amazing Bob and I pondered this when we did the nearly unthinkable and made our ongoing giddily, happy union all legal-like.

Why am I all in a fever about this again? I was reading an essay in the latest New Yorker, The Ripper, written by David Peace. GREAT name and fab piece (heh, see what I did there?) of writing. There’s a pay wall so you can’t read the whole thing at the link -- go buy some ink on paper. K?

So, here’s what I’m thinking -- my name should be Ruby Peace. ‘Ruby’ for my grandmother to whom I was often compared. And 'Peace' because, well jeez Louise, Peace -- who the hell doesn’t want Peace?

And think of the self promotion, job interviewing possibilities! I could send off resumes with an audio clip of John and Yoko singing Give Peace a Chance.

Totally brill, n'est-ce pas?!

If I’m getting into a fight, you know, I could growl to my opponent ‘Oi, you want a piece of Peace?’ Yeah, I think that’ll be a fight stopper solely because we'll all be too busy convulsing with laughter over my spectacular doofusosity.

Hey, whatever works.

Here’s another thing about Ruby Peace -- sounds like a 1930s gun moll, don’t it? There’s Kathryn Thorne, "Machine Gun" Kelly’s wife. , Billie Frechette, John Dillinger’s babe.  Bonnie Parker of Bonnie and Clyde fame. OK maybe it only sounds like a great name for a gun moll.

Or maybe a ‘60s era, peace activist sobriquet? Maybe it just sounds like a name out of a Vonnegut novel -- like Billy Pilgrim, Zinka or Isadore Raspberry-19 Cohen.

I’m fine with this. Being a character in a Vonnegut novel would be a dandy explanation for my life to date.