I Just Had To Look

I read the news today oh boy.

Karl Rove’s up to his old slimeball, assholian, forget-what’s-good-for-the-country-I-want-my-team-to-win-at-any-cost politicking.

Republicans are still despicably wasting our tax dollars in their deranged fuck-what-the-citizens-want-we-serve-the-corporations attempts to nullify the Affordable Care Act.

Some shitstain tried to bring not one but two handguns into Boston University’s commencement.

Boston University spokesperson Colin Riley told Boston.com the suspect “didn’t want to let police stop him,” which prompted additional scrutiny.

But it’s OK — his wife says "it was a misunderstanding."

Mick Jagger’s now a Great Grandfather.

and today’s Rubick’s Cube Google doodle might very well drive me insane or thereabouts.

Some days I just can’t bear to read the news but I do. Why? I’m more afraid of ducking reality than facing it. I can handle anything even a curve ball thrown by Three Fingered Mordecai Brown. I may very well not like it one eensy whit, to the point of being bummed and inconsolably blue BUT that’s a temporary state.

Ya know, I get knocked down, But I get up again. Sing it with me Sweeties!

I knew a man who was so afraid of his own messy, nasty world that he just would, seriously, not actually see anything bad that was going on — not even when it happened right under his nose. ‘Gene’ never struck me as a timid mouse type. No, he always seemed like a strong person BUT that veneer was built on blindness to and determined ignorance of anything that he felt he couldn’t face.

Gene and his children suffered for it.

Dunno how much he ever really knew and chose to ignore and how much he was just plain hysterically blind to — that is, he truly, honestly couldn’t see, understand or appreciate what was happening around him due to the extreme shock and heartache it caused.

 For Gene and his family, everything was always coming up roses and daffodils, sunshine and Santa Claus.  Except it wasn’t by a long shot.

I don’t know that he ever got help for this. Gene was as aware as he could be of his reaction to his universe's inconvenient, scary truths. How? I confronted him — told him that his pain and panic, possibly rooted in feeling desolately alone and unable to cope, was crippling him and his kids. I strongly encouraged him to seek help.

He seemed to understand but who knows.

“Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.”
― Arthur C. Clarke

“The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

“Maybe ever’body in the whole damn world is scared of each other.”
― John Steinbeck, Of Mice and Men