About That Hashtag

About that hashtag YesAllWomen:

It all started when news outlets reported that gunman Elliot Rodger vowed in a chilling video posted on social media -- titled "Retribution" -- that he would "punish" girls who rejected him and looked down on him.
"I don't know why you girls aren't attracted to me, but I will punish you all for it," Rodger said in the video.

Leaving aside, for the moment, Rodger’s spectacular lack of self awareness and complete absence of empathy —  I don’t know a woman who’s not been harassed, raped or otherwise abused by a man. No, really and true, I don’t. I am also fully aware that not all men are like this. I don’t need the Men’s Rights assbags (champions of the hashtag NotAllMen) or well intentioned, insecure dudes to tell me this.

What is the Men’s Rights movement beyond a bunch of whiny ass mastodons who’re pissed because:

a) they can’t get a date with the prettiest girl or, maybe, at all.
b) the less comely babes who will go out with them won’t put out on demand.
c) the wife’s no longer happy with just fetchin' the beers, birthin’ the bairns and keepin' the castle clean anymore. Wants ‘fulfillment.’ //snort// This CAN NOT stand!
d) chicks at work wanna be paid the same as men. ‘the fuck’s that about? They can’t possibly be as good because....because....boobs! periods! skirts!'

From an awesome, spot on, ya-gotta-go-read-the-whole-thing Cracked post on these MRAs:

Standing up for the rights of the people who have been in charge of everything since we started doing this whole "society" thing is ridiculous. The kind of mind that would conceive of that idea with any sort of sincerity is so clumsy and socially oblivious that it deserves its own spot in the autism spectrum, like Asspergers, maybe.

Have I mentioned ‘empathy’ yet? Ya know, specifically, the concept that women are living, sentient, autonomous beings who should be accorded the same respect and consideration as, say, a dude.

This, this is what far too many folk lack.

Maybe you’re a nice Tom but you still don’t get why chiming in with the hue and cry of Not All Men is, well, kinda gauche.

Here, lemme have Phil Plait, astronomer, blogger, science evangelist and all ‘round good cheese, spell it out more succinctly and clearly than I ever could:

Why is it not helpful to say “not all men are like that”? For lots of reasons. For one, women know this. They already know not every man is a rapist, or a murderer, or violent. They don’t need you to tell them.
Second, it’s defensive. When people are defensive, they aren’t listening to the other person; they’re busy thinking of ways to defend themselves.
***snip***
Third, the people saying it aren’t furthering the conversation, they’re sidetracking it. The discussion isn’t about the men who aren’t a problem.
***snip***
Fourth—and this is important, so listen carefully—when a woman is walking down the street, or on a blind date, or, yes, in an elevator alone she doesn’t know which group you’re in.

Just as I don't look deaf (fer reals, people have said that to me), a rapey guy, more often than not, doesn't look the part. They're not wearing big neon. flashing signs.

If they were, I'd not have had this or this brush with disaster.

So then, don’t raise your babies to be rapists — easy, right?

From Eve Vawter on the blog Mommyish:

When my boys were little we made a point to always stress empathetic behavior. All of our kids are like little sponges. When you ask them “How would you feel if someone hit you?” when your kid is caught fighting over a shared toy it teaches them to think outside themselves. When you teach kids empathy, you are warding off adults with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the disorder most experts believe the vast majority of sex offenders and rapists have.

 So there's that empathy thing again.

I woke in the middle of the night with some shining, rock solid stuff in my head. I have the bestest life partner on the planet. He was and is a fabulous father to The Green Miles and grandfather to Crysta, Madison, Juliana and Olivia. And The Green Miles, in turn, is and will be the most amazing Pop. He learned from the greatest. The Amazing Bob has always, modestly, said Miles is a good guy — I just tried to get out of his way and let him grow.

True enough.