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Thursday, September 25, 2014

Things That Happen When I’m Dancing the Tension Tango

 In no particular order.

1) I lose my keys/glasses/subway pass/an earring/gas and grocery discount card/eyedrops, etc.

I’ve done this so many times that I finally learned the art of designating a specific place in the house or in my purse where I’m to place these items. That way I won’t lose them when I’m hopped up and wigged out about this or that.

Invariably, the designated, proper location is the LAST place I look.

Where did I find my subway pass yesterday? In my new wallet in its very special new, this-is-where-I’ll always-keep-it-so-I’ll-stop-misplacing pocket.

My work keys? They’re on a six inch long glitter and paste emerald cord. Hard to miss, eh? You’d think.

After searching every bag I’ve used over the past week, after combing through the stack ‘o’ crap around my computer, printer and scanner, I finally found them. Where? Hanging on the back of the chair in front of the computer. You know, in a place where I couldn’t possibly miss them.

Except I did.

Where were my eyedrops? In the pocket of the last sweater I wore. Of course.  Meantime I’d gone out and bought another wee bottle so now I’ll have one for by the bed AND my pocket or purse. Très smart of me, no? Doh!

I think I get the most cleaning and sorting done when I’m on the hunt for an item I’ve “lost.”

2) I forget to check the snail mail. Most of what I get via the postal service are bills. I should KNOW to look in our post basket at certain times of the month for those nasty little envelopes. Do I? Well...yezzzz but in my stressing state I forget that the vast majority of my current bills are due at mid month not the first.

Sigh. Late fees. I really don’t need those.

3) Trike accidents. We’ve covered that.

4) Oopsies with the car. While parallel parking (NOT one of my superpowers) I bumped into the car behind me. Conveniently, the driver was sitting at the wheel so we could sort things out there and then.

 I’m driving a Smart Car which is built from spit, cellophane and fairy dust. There shouldn’t have been any damage to the other car, right? Any injuries would’ve been to Bix, right? Wrong. Surprisingly, she’s got a scratch in the front right bumper and her license plate’s crinkled.

I really, wicked hope this doesn’t turn into some colossal debacle. There’s no reason that it should and worrying is truly a waste of energy.

That not worrying thing? Easier said than done. Way!

What’s the solution? How can I deflate the anxiety zepplin, lower the heat on the nervousness albatross and chill out my jitter bugs?

All my loved ones being happy, healthy and safe would be a grand start. While we’re at it, how’s ‘bout we throw in a mega solid dose of salubriousity for me too?

In the meantime, I'm gonna do some stretching, deep breathing exercises, maybe a trike ride before the rain begins and it really couldn't hurt to go sit on the seawall steps and stare at the water. Maybe I'll do my deep breathing down there where I can take in the heavenly salt perfume of the bay.

How do you de-stressify yourself?

Under Presssure — Queen

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