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Sunday, October 19, 2014

Technical Difficulties


There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image, make it flutter. We can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and nothing wrong with your television set.
Man, The Outer Limits  just freaked me right the fuck out. I can't imagine that my folks let me stay up to watch when it was first out in 1963. I was five.  I must have seen it after it went into syndication.  Still, I know I was just a kiddle.

I've vague memories of Saturday afternoons, alone in the house, glued to the TV watching creature double features, Twilight Zone and then (cue the scary intro music) Outer Limits. I'd hide behind furniture during the most exquisitely, pants wettingly horrifying parts, quite sure was I that the credenza could  protect me from the bad monsters.//snort//

I never let on to the parental units that I did this, watched these shows, while they were out because..because... I figured they'd be pissed and forbid future viewings.

And why would that be a bad thing considering how stone, solid unnerving, chilling and nightmare inspiring these shows were? For some reason I thought these pants wettingly, horrifying flicks, were the epitome, the very essence of what it meant to be a cool older kid. Hells, Julie Altrogge'd seen The Bad Seed  AND Whatever Happened to Baby Jane at least twice (!!!) and she was a year younger than me!

Hmmph! I was outta step, behind the times, a callow, jejune petite fille! This sitch HAD to be rectified!

Sigh.

What I began to say, before I distracted myself with the Outer Limits, is this -- my internet connection's busted. Yes. Again. The Network Conjoinment Wizard will be here later this morning to work some magic. Thank Bast!

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