Turkey Eve

The forecast is calling for one to three inches of snow tonight. If you’re traveling today, please do it early. Traffic’s gonna be nasty as hell even without those pretty white flakes blinding you while deliberately and devilishly throwing themselves under your poor tires.

And, if you can possibly manage it, avoid shopping this weekend. Be a rebel and stay home (or wherever you’re staying). Enjoy the folks you’ve traveled mega hours and miles to be with. If enjoying the company’s not in the cards, well, the Bears and the Lions play at 12:30, Eagles and Cowboys at 4:40 and the Seahawks go against the 49ers at 8:30.

OR take a long ass walk — work that food coma out of your system. Stride off that second helping of pecan pie! Here in Boston it’ll be 39º and sunny. Brisk and beautiful! If the snow's off the roads, me and that glorious new trike will be out there.

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
~ Erma Bombeck

America has developed a pie tradition unequivocally and unapologetically at the sweet end of the scale, and at no time is this better demonstrated than at Thanksgiving.
~ Janet Clarkson, Pie: A Global History

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations.
~ Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
~ Jon Stewart

Thanksgiving Day, a function which originated in New England two or three centuries ago when those people recognized that they really had something to be thankful for — annually, not oftener — if they had succeeded in exterminating their neighbors, the Indians, during the previous twelve months instead of getting exterminated by their neighbors, the Indians. Thanksgiving Day became a habit, for the reason that in the course of time, as the years drifted on, it was perceived that the exterminating had ceased to be mutual and was all on the white man's side, consequently on the Lord's side; hence it was proper to thank the Lord for it and extend the usual annual compliments.
~ Mark Twain

I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual. It is surprising how contented one can be with nothing definite - only a sense of existence.
~ Henry David Thoreau

Here in Britain, of course, it's Thank Fuck We Got Those Weird Jesus Bastards On The Boat Day.
― Warren Ellis