Ostara Day

What’re holidays like for kids raised in mixed religion families—specifically Christian/Jewish ones. I’ve known a few over the years. For those who felt it important to raise the bairn with organized religion, most picked one or the other—not both. Makes sense to me.

Andrea King, an early childhood expert and author of If I'm Jewish and You're Christian, What are the Kids? wrote briefly on the topic at the Interfaith Family website. She strongly recommends choosing one religion.

Many interfaith couples bristle at this advice. They argue that they can blend Judaism and Christianity in their family celebrations, and that their children are genuinely "Jewish-Christian" or half-and-half. These parents often say they are giving their children the "best of both" religions. 

In my twenty years' experience working with interfaith families I have learned that when a couple says they are practicing "the best of both" religions, they mean that they follow the four-holiday calendar: they celebrate (in a mostly secular way) Christmas and Hanukkah, Passover and Easter.

She goes on to say that children raised with two disparate religions are often confused. I can totes understand that—Christian holidays have been transformed by our corporate BUY MORE STUFF NOW culture into Capitalist holy days.

One child, Jamie, age six, explained his interfaith family's celebrations this way: "Hanukkah is the Jewish Christmas, Easter is the Easter Bunny's birthday and Passover, I don't know what that is."

The children of the couple I knew who raised their kids with both Lutheran and Jewish faiths are now young adults. Dunno where they’re at. Their son had a bar mitzvah. The daughter didn't—bat mitzvah lessons time conflicted with her Lutheran Sunday school classes. She wasn't happy about that.

The children of the couple who chose Judaism but brought the kids to the Christian grandparents “to help Grandma and Grandpa celebrate” Christmas and Easter? (an example of best of both—they got Christmas presents but didn't have to sit through catechism or mass—win/win!) Dunno where they’re now apart from being home for the Passover Seders.

Does any of this really matter? My father was from a vociferously non-Catholic family, my mother was Italian Catholic. Both were raised Christian so no big deal, right? Non. My father’s grandparents, both sets, had come over from Ireland and, boyhowdy, they were angry as hell at the Catholic church with all the crimes and tragedy it had rained down on their home country.

Daddy was in love though and wanted whatever my mother wanted so I was raised solidly Catholic with far too many years of parochial school along with it. I vamoosed outta there as soon as I could. The nuns could ruin the church for the pope. Swear ta Bast!

Where does this bring me today, on this Easter Sunday? I’m remembering a fab Easter spent with Cindy and Giovanni in Tuscany, the elaborate treasure maps that my mother drew for our egg and Easter present hunts, a few good Seders and, this year, my half assed observance with the Grands (stuffed animals and new dresses!).

All in all. today’s just another Sunday for me. It’s a bright, beautiful, sunny Spring day. There’ll be trike riding, errand running and more sunflowers painted on my kitchen walls. Coco and Rocco? They're Pagan and are celebrating appropriately. Of course.