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Tuesday, July 28, 2015

The End of the Kluge

A lamp in need
offending, big bulb
I may be an early riser, a morning person but (and this is important here so pay attention) I’m not at my most stunningly bright and adept within the first 30 minutes of wakey-wake time. No, I am not. Auto-pilot—on it.

What this meant this morning was that I should not have attempted to fix or even replace shit about the house until AFTER that first cup of coffee. Warum? Apparently I’m quite short tempered pre-caffienation.

Yesterday, I’d picked up the GE energy smart® nine year life babies for our reading lamp with two spent bulbs. Fab, right?  Wrong. They’re too big to fit under the lamp’s hood. No anount of fiddling about helped. Did ya know? Bulbs aren’t fluid, they won’t squeeze or flow into a space. Huh. Fuckers.

And then I was having a bit of a struggle with a dodgy utensil drawer. I knew it needed to be really fixed but I had a klugey, this’ll-get-me-by-until-I’ve-the-time-to-deal-with-it-properly, “fix” in place. Right. Deep down, I knew that I’d never repair the drawer myself. I’d wait until Helen and husband were here (he’s a carpenter and she’s just plain magical) next and ask them to deal with it.
dead utensil drawer

While my espresso roast was brewing (yeah, I don’t mess around—when I caffienate, I go for jet fuel), I was putting away the dishes that I so presciently washed the night before. I knew I’d hate, hate, hate seeing a sink full of cat bowls, spoons, forks and pots the next AM. The utensil drawer didn’t want to budge. It didn’t respond to Open Sesame. Bastard! I gave it a good yank and, of course, everything went flying. The floor was covered in birthday candles, straws, those little clippy things to keep bags shut and, of course, “silverware.”

Great. It’s one hell of an effective way to get me to clean and tidy the joint.

Apparently the drawer’d become home to all manner of odd bit—lids to bottles we no longer have, random rubber bands and twist ties, screws for our dishwasher which has been dead, dead, dead for over a year now and on and on. All finally in the trash now.

The Amazing Bob and I—we’re wonderfully creative souls, amusing company and crackerjack smart. Handy around the house? Not so’s anyone would ever notice.


I think I’ll drink some jet fuel now and stare at the morning light sprinkling and twinkling through my new drapes. That's all I wanted to do first thing this morning anyway. Not a lot to ask of the universe is it?!

At least I've got this lovely, peaceful tune in my head now:
Images of broken light
Which dance before me like a million eyes
They call me on and on across the universe

Thoughts meander like a restless wind
Inside a letter box
They tumble blindly as they make their way
Across the universe
Across the Universe—The Beatles

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