Everybody Must Get Stoned

While Kim Davis’ four marriages, three divorces and her becoming pregnant and having kids by eventual husband number three, while married to hubby number one, is all pretty damned hilarious, it’s also irrelevant.

She converted to one of those not-terribly-Christ-like christianist sects just four years ago. Her twins are 21 so the adultery (that particular episode anyway) happened well before the I’m-a-Born-Again-Asshole cut off point. See? She's free and clear to be a cretinous, judgemental embarrassment to the planet.

One of the “lay leaders” (is it just me or is everyone snorting and giggling over the pun there?) of her denomination explained that:

“We use the King James Bible,” he said, repeating the phrase several times when asked specific theological questions.

Hoffman did hint that issues of both homosexuality and divorce could be grounds for loss of church membership, however, although he insisted such things would be handled on a case-by-case basis and that forgiveness and reconciliation are possible.

So, if I understand this correctly, if you’re one of the elders faves, you get a pass on the whole divorce, adultery thing. If not? Well, boyhowdy, I’m guessing you get stoned (and not in the fun way).

The King James Bible Online had some conflicting info on adultery punishments (I KNOW, quell shock!)

Deuteronomy 22:21 - Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

So then, stoning (with stones!) happens only if you
a) still live with your father?
b) live with Daddy AND live in Israel? Do I have that right? Kentucky doesn’t count?

Leviticus 21:9 - And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire.

Not stoning but being burnt with fire. Okey-dokey. Leviticus, gosh, he seems nice, eh? Is this extra specially evil penalty just for the girls who're saddled with preachers as fathers? Plumber’s girls get a pass?

Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage [is] honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

This snippet seems to clearly indicate that it’s not up to humans to judge and punish—that’s god’s bailiwick. BUT Hebrews is in the New Testament and, from what I understand of these hard right cults, it’s totes cool to ignore all of Jesus’ squishy sermons. You know, feed the hungry, take care of the poors, judge not lest….oh, you know.

Luke 6:31 - And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.

Yeah, christianists aren’t so much into this directive.

Proverbs 6:32 - [But] whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he [that] doeth it destroyeth his own soul.

Back in the old testament, it seems that men got off scot-free from the stoning and immolation action. Oh sure, sure, their soul’s destroyed but, damn, that’s a temp condition. Right? Big, painful punishment, being all deaded up, is reserved just for the women types. Huh. Waddyaknow. Shocking. NOT.

See? This is why I’m not into religions. The vast majority of ‘em seem to be created and run by bullying, insecure, uptight men, for men.

Back to Kimmy Baby though, Dan Savage had this to say:

“I think Kim Davis is waiting to cash in,” Savage said. “I predicted from the beginning that she would defy all the court orders, defy the Supreme Court. She would be ultimately be held in contempt of court, lose her job, perhaps go to prison for a short amount of time… she will go on the right-wing lecture circuit and she'll never have to do an honest day's work ever again in her life.”

In the future everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes.
~Andy Warhol

With the wingnut, Teabaggian lecture circuit, those 15 minutes can last years.
Rainy Day Women #12 & #35—Dylan