Roller Derby?!

While The Amazing Bob and I were at the Saint Mary's School Geezer Day event, Jen and Oni were…wait for it…at the ROLLER DERBY!

What?!!! Roller Derby?! That still exists? Rilly?

I remember seeing TV Roller Derby matches on Saturday afternoons back when I was a bored kiddle in the ‘60s. The “sport” had way more in common with the brand of wrestling which starred the likes of Andre the Giant and Gorilla Monsoon. The derby was, quite possibly, more truly violent though.

That old Raquel Welch flick, Kansas City Bomber, comes to mind. Unholy Rollers too. You know, the players are all angry, uneducated, steel hard women with messy, down at heels pasts. They make the rent money on wheels versus backs – sadly nasty scenarios with a whiff of porn for skewed minds about it.

So then, Jen and Oni are fans of skeevoid, violent, faux sports drama? Ah no, roller derby’s not the same now as back then. For starters, they play on a flat, not banked, track.

Roller derby is a contact sport played by two teams of five members roller skating in the same direction around a track. Game play consists of a series of short match ups (jams) in which both teams designate a jammer who scores points by lapping members of the opposing team. The teams attempt to hinder the opposing jammer while assisting their own jammer—in effect, playing both offense and defense simultaneously. (source)

Janocide!

Janocide's daughters cheer her on

Yeah, it’s still a contact sport BUT it’s no longer intentionally, gratuitously violent. It’s also not a paying gig – not the leagues around here anyway. The women do it for fun, camaraderie and exercise. I guess it’s like the Over 40 Baseball leagues except on wheels, played inside and, ya know, sometimes you get knocked over.

The players names, however, def hark back to that earlier danger-ville past. Jen’s BFF from high school is a member of the Salty Dolls in the Cape Cod league. Her nom de roue is Janocide and boyhowdy her press shot’s scary! The monikers and sneering pics are meant as arch goofs on the sport’s historical rep.

I told Jen that I MOST def want to go cheer on the Dolls at their next match! They might be playing the Western Mass Destruction or the Quabbin Missile Crisis Established 2010. We’ll drop a bomb on you, baby. Not sure which but, man-o-man, I’m psyched!

And finally, some wise words from Kamikaze Kitten:

You can't jump the apex with both feet on the ground.