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Saturday, August 27, 2016

In Praise of Sheetz

Sort of...

Jen and I are back in the land of porn shops, gun emporiums and big box "Christian" churches. I'd think there was nothing more around this part of the state if all I did was drive from the Pittsburgh Airport to my father’s small, rural college town along Route 22.

There’s a much prettier, less tawdry way from airport to Indiana but I never recall the precise "rowt," as they say 'round here.

On the way, we stopped at Sheetz (WHAT a name!) for a cuppa only to be assaulted by mondo amounts of BIG ass, cheap cookies, doughnuts, whoopie pies and jelly roll logs PLUS “Fryz and Chicken Stripz,” “Pretzel Meltz,” “Shwings” (??’the fuck are those???) and “Nachoz.” Note: the Food Namer (that’s GOT to be an actual job title) has been inconsistent in their use of “z”s in place of “s”s. Heavens!

From the Sheetz website:
It's a popular belief that you can't get great tasting food at a convenience store. At Sheetz, we like to turn such conventions on their heads. We have developed a made-to-order food program that rivals any quick serve restaurant you've ever visited. We use only the highest quality ingredients and prepare your food exactly the way you like while you wait.
Jake the Wonder Dog
Ummmm, yeah. The place is junk food nirvana and for exactly that, I love it! What did Jen and I get when we stopped here? Coffee. Just coffee. Yeah, the grand selection of calorie laden, mega sodium charged, super saturated sugary treats fried my brain. I couldn’t decide! OR maybe, possibly, I was having a moment of self control. Hey, those DO so happen...sometimes. OK, they really, honestly could.

Do these sorts of things, rural gas station/convenience stores/fast, junk food heavens, exist in Massachusetts? I've lived in the state for most of my long life but I don't recall ever coming across empty calorie Elysian fields quite like Sheetz.

And you can get discounts on chewing tobacco here too. Jesus, people actually indulge in that shit? I don't imagine they get a lot of sexytime action with a mouth full of that disgustamundo crap.

It was a shockingly sunny day, Friday, as we touched down at Pittsburgh airport – highly unusual as it ALWAYS rains in Western Pennsylvania at the weekend. It did in my high school marching band days but I believe I mentioned that already. Sun? Here? On a Friday? UNpossible! Has everything and everyplace gone wobbly crazy since my beloved TAB's exit stage left!? Ah, not to worry. As we approached Indiana, the clouds rolled in. Ahhhh, overcast, just as it should be.

Last night, Jen and I motored out to Idaho – the hamlet located about 30 minutes from my father’s town versus the 2,000+ mile away state – to see our dear chum Michal. We often stay with her when we come to see Pop. Not only does she have five gorgeous cats, she has the best dog EVAH – Jake. Also too, she’s a blindingly awesome cook (veggie lasagna last night!!!) AND she keeps a bottle of Jamo on hand for me. LOVE Michal!

Jen and I will see Poppy again this morning before heading back to the airport. Obvs we’ll be stopping at Sheetz along the way.
Michal's patch of paradise

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