Q&A

On Facebook (or ShoutyFace as Tbogg calls it) there’s another one of those Q&A things going around. “Let's have some fun and learn about each other” it reads, followed by questions. And no, the questions don't reveal anything deep at all – they're light and airhead-y. Suitable for wedding shower games and parties that end in Spin the Bottle or hair and make-up experiments.

I figured I’d just post mine here (because OF COURSE you want to know what MY brill *cough* answers are!):

1. ARE YOU NAMED AFTER SOMEONE? My mother’s father Donato, who she, by the by, hated. Foreshadow much, Lucy? I should have been named Reptilicus Ripley Maderer. Now that's a name that'd give a kid the advantage on the unfair, violence packed playground! Amirite or amirite? Hint: you know I am!

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? The question should be when was the last time you didn’t cry. The Amazing Bob’s gone, dead in fact. Have I, perchance, not mentioned that? I feel certain I may’ve.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? No. What kind of get-to-know-you-question is that? Does the answer tell any of us anything interesting or substantial? No. Not unless the writer’s a calligrapher. I’d be interested in that.

In this digital age, this time of the keyboard, does anyone write anything out by hand at all? At best, on a good day, my handwriting resembles one of those scrawl-y handwriting fonts.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Lunch meat? No, no, no. Vegetarian here.

5. DO YOU HAVE ANY KIDS? Do cats count? If so, two plus one visitor feline who gets regular meals.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? //shrugs// If I was another person (I'm not inclined to go all existential on a Saturday morning), would I be the type who enjoys opinionated, deaf, semi-fluorescent personality-ed, artist types? Who knows?

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Noooooooooooooo! Nevah!

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Again, WTF? How does this query provide a window into a person’s being. Answer – it does nothing of the kind. You’re welcome. Also, yes, I've a full complement of tonsils. Happy?

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? FUCK NO!

10. WHAT IS YOUR CEREAL? Bob had Frosted Mini Wheats each morning. Christ, I miss pouring him a bowl of cereal. Me? Nope, I'm not the cereal type.

 

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Yes, though I rarely wear shoes with laces. Vans – I wear Vans!

12. DO YOU THINK YOU'RE STRONG? As compared with who? Am I as strong as Helen Keller? Hilary Clinton? Boudica? Catherine the Great? Harriet Beecher Stowe? Shirley Chisolm? I’m no push over, no weak sister but I’m also no Benazir Bhutto. Duh.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Lemon sorbet unless it’s cookie dough or mint chip or French vanilla or….em, s’cuse me, gotta run up the street to the ice cream shop now. DAMN you!

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Overall appearance and body language.

15. RED OR PINK? Depends on the hue, the shade. Generally reds though.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF? My skin. Looks MUCH better on Edward James Olmos.

17. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? One fish, two fish Seuss pajamas. No shoes at the moment.

18. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Coffee and then, some more coffee.

19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The sounds in my head

20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?  At the moment, red violet. I may be yellow green in moments though. Brace yourself!

 

21. FAVORITE SMELLS? In no particular order, low tide, lemons, patchouli, lilacs, weed, TAB.

22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? I haven’t been on the phone in more than ten years so //shrugs//

23. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Sports? Sorry…no.

24. HAIR COLOR REAL? Yes, except for the small patch of purple up front

25. EYE COLOR? Weak tea sitting in the early morning sun.

26. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES? Yes but I often go without because I like seeing the world in a softer, fuzzed focus.

27. FAVORITE FOOD? Anything Oni or Erin make for me. Used to be, anything that TAB made for me. He was a kitchen god. He made stellar curries, amazing carrot cakes and oatmeal, spinach carrot cookies that’d make you flat out swoon with joy.

28. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Both. I can have both, right?

29. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Suicide Squad

30. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Lavender – it’s a T-shirt from St. Fratelli’s!

31. SUMMER OR WINTER? Ummm, Spring, Fall and Winter? I’m mostly *meh* about Summer ‘cept for the swimming and wearing shorts parts.

32. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs AND kisses both!

33. FAVORITE dessert ?? ALL of them!

34. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? Leonard: My Fifty-Year Friendship with a Remarkable Man by William Shatner and Kink Me by Martin Millar – nope, I ain’t particularly deep.

35. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Mouse pad? Nope, haven’t had one in eons.

36. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST? An episode of Grimm.

 
37. FAVORITE SOUNDS? I remember loving the sound of waves – crashing OR just gently lapping the shore, thunder, the wind in the trees and, most of all, TAB's voice – he had a big time sexy, mellow, resonant, midnight jazz DJ voice.

38. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Both! And Led Zep too. 

39. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Dunno. Krakow, Poland? Chianciano Terme in Italy? The moon? (OK, that last one was just in a dream)

40. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Diplomacy and calm in the face of wanting, nay, NEEDING to rip someone’s intestines out through their left nostril with a snail fork.

41. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? New Haven, Connecticut

41 questions – what an odd number.