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Friday, March 10, 2017

It's Like This

My friend Rhonda has Celiac Disease. She’s one of those rare peoples who really does need to eat a gluten-free (protein found in wheat, rye and barley) diet. It’s frustrating as all hell and, of course, spawns the occasional crazed cravings. Fer instance, a Boston Creme, maybe a vanilla glazed or, possibly, a nice fat cruller might pop up on the GOTTA Have list. Me? I can’t have them because they’d pack the poundage on faster than I can say, yeah man, that really hit the spot. It’s a health issue but totes NOT the same thing.

In any case, Rhonda wanted to clarify a recent bit of donut mania to her Facebook chums.
I feel like I need to explain myself after my desperate donut posts last week.

 No, it's not really all about donuts. I think they're a metaphor for simpler times in my life where I could take my health for granted.

I keep having the sensation that I need a vacation, yet I'm not really stressed at work. I think it's more a regular awareness that my health has slipped in the last ten years and, combine that with weekly visits with Mom, who now has dementia, I naturally wonder if that's where I'm also headed.

 That night I had the donut dreams? Earlier in the day I’d been talking with another woman who has Celiac. I asked her how long it took for her to get better and she answered "several years." She also confided that when she stopped eating eggs she really started to get better. My heart sank — I already have a long list of foods I'm avoiding and whole sections of the grocery store I avoid altogether. Plus the reality is that my very best efforts might not pay off in terms of seeing my health return to the way it was.

Then there's the news. For many years I have been an avid listener to world and local news, but lately I find I just don't have the stomach for much of it anymore. I make decisions based on evidence and critical thinking but apparently not that many other people do. I feel so disheartened. The Obama wiretapping theory left me speechless. I keep thinking we are done with drama but it seems like each week brings fresh crazy. I can cope with disagreeing with my president but feeling that he is mentally unbalanced just fills me with dread.

And so at night I dream about a room filled with donuts I can't eat. And during the day I am filled with sentimental memories of past springs and summers when I was much more carefree. And I end up thinking "I could really use a break, and a really good donut that won't make me sick."

I wonder if some of you are in the same boat? Maybe not with the health issues so much but with other matters?
Yeah sister, totally.

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