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Thursday, April 27, 2017

Two Eyed Jack

Somehow that lacks the mystery, grit and danger of One Eyed Jack/Donna. Nonetheless, I’ll take it!

Got my left eye back yesterday and I am SO damn relieved. I can now drive, walk a relatively straight line AND I’m not tripping or banging into things nearly as much. YES! I still look like I got into a big ol' bar brawl but Doc Yoon said the puffy funk will fade in a few days.

The downside of having full vision action is that now I don’t have an excuse for staying away from the Y. I feel good, great even, while I’m elliptical-ing and doing my pool laps BUT getting to the gym is a hurdle. Why?! Newton explained it best in his first law of motion:
An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.
Inertia – nails me every damn time. Puttering around the house, painting, reading my latest ripping yarn and napping with Coco – escape velocity is mega hard to achieve. The unbalanced force that gets me up, outta my comfy reading chair, suited up and off to the gym? That’d be my own internal nag-arific voice. Get UP you lazy, fat slag! Do you WANT to look like Jabba after a Fratellis cupcake bender? C’mon, that extra weight’s not gonna lose itself! Yup, I am SUCH a bitch to myself.

My inside TAB voice, on the other hand, says, You work so hard. Cut yourself some slack! Here, have a cookie. He's countered by my inner nursie who calmly chimes in with Exercise lifts your mood and clears your sinuses. You’ll be a lot more comfortable (physically and emotionally) and have way more energy afterwards. GO!

Nursie always wins. Also too – yes, there are a lot of voices in my head.

Yesterday’s other bigness was that the cherry trees arroved. I’d ordered them on line from a place in South Carolina who used FedEx for shipping. The worker bees there had FOLDED MY BOXED TREES IN HALF! Yes, they broke my babies in half. I was near tears. Oni and I took pics. We envisioned disbelieving, uncaring and obnoxious customer service types. We imagined having to go all Perry Mason on their asses in order to get unbroken saplings or my money back. Braced for battle, Oni called. He spoke with a wonderful, brilliantly customer oriented dude.

The company, Fast Growing Trees, is sending two more beautiful, leafy darlings right out, today! Plus, I'm getting an upgrade to a more mature cherry on one – not sure if it'll be the Bing or the Black Tartarian. Hoping it's the Black because that's TAB's cherry. I want to see him big and tall NOW. (Be patient? Trees grow? Shut up.)

They MIGHT even be here by Saturday which'd be awesome+. We’d planned a small tree, Amazing Bob and Rocco planting ceremony for Sunday. Obvs, that’s on hold until the fresh, unmolested saplings arrive.

OK, time to suit up and brave the Y. *sigh* I CAN do this and I WILL feel so much better afterward!


  1. Odd info: aside from bad tattoos, the skull and crossbones is to popular culture a pirate flag, the Jolly Roger, though in its' orgin it was the Templar battle flag.

    Appros of nothing.

    1. Too cool! I'm absolutely wild about the history of things (including words and phrases) Thanks!