Fried Wires

Goodness, I’ve survived the blistering heat wave! Yea me. Mind you, it was a near thing. I had not one but TWO nights of fiery temps induced NO sleepy-bye. Painful! I was in an absolutely opaque fog all day yesterday.

This morning it’s a beautiful 67º. After a tanker truck’s worth of caffeine, I’ll perform my morning sanitation rituals and then it’s off to the Y for some lovely mood elevating laps of the pool.

My Oregon/Meet Sky trip is now less than a week away and I am, mais oui, bien sur, doing a mini panic.

• Did I make a list of all the things I mustn't forget to pack? Is it complete? (must get Jen to review and comment)
• What’s the weather like? Mister Google tells me the nights are in the 40s with days in the 70s/80s. Sheesh, I gotta pack for two separate seasons? Will it all fit in my backpack?
• Will Coco be OK while I’m gone? Maybe I ought to leave the TV on for her. She used to LOVE watching old Westerns while perched on The Amazing Bob’s lap.
• Is my camera battery charged and should I bring the charger?
• Am I really ready to hook up with someone new? TAB left this existence and ME 788 days ago. That’s…like...just last week. Ya know!?
• What if, on finally meeting, Sky’s not warm for this deaf, chubby form?

The answers to all these frenetic queries? Relax. Take a few deep breaths and let ‘em out slow. Everything’s gonna be fine, no matter what. You’ve got this so just fucking chill. Must listen to myself on this – I know I'm right!

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
~ Arthur Somers Roche

I do a weird thing when I am nervous where I tilt my head back like I am super confident. This is my attempt to fake it until I make it, or at the very least make it easier for someone to slit my throat.
~ Amy Poehler, Yes Please

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.
~Thich Nhat Hanh

If anyone tells you love makes you invincible, tell them they're full of shit. Love makes you paranoid and insecure and nervous you're going to fuck it all up and lose the best thing that's ever happened to you.
~ Cherie M. Hudson, Undeniable 

It’s like this:
Me: Hey, brain. Let’s think of something cool to say!

Brain: UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Me: Okay, it doesn’t have to be cool. Just something semi-coherent . . .

Brain: UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Me: COME ON, BRAIN, GIVE ME SOMETHING.

Brain: white noise

Shit. Shit. Shit.
~ Becky Albertalli, The Upside of Unrequited 

I feel as though I can chew up nails and spit out a barbed wire fence.
~ Khloe Beutler, Speaking Up for Each Other: A Collection of Short Stories for Tweens and Middle Grade Readers 

This morning I'm all white noise with a dash of barbed wire. TIME to hit the gym!