Food Glorious Food

I’ve been in one of those funks where food just doesn’t interest me at all. I don’t have a hankering for anything in particular. Nada, niente, nichts! Nothing tempts me—not even neapolitans.

This, this right here, is horribly unusual for me. I can normally be relied on to have at least a half dozen cravings at any one time.

I’d be concerned and wondering if my lack of interest in life’s gustatory delights has something to do with my rat-bastid Nf2 (because every other damn weirdness seems to be connected to that vile affliction) except:

1) I just had my MRIs and saw Plotkin who judged me and my pack of marauding meningiomas STABLE (YEA!).

2) I woke up this morning with a full on craving for a full English breakfast. OK, full English with a few modifications.

• The eggs should be poached not fried (yolks just a wee bit runny), sitting atop tomato rounds which in turn are reclining on chubby slabs of lightly grilled sourdough bread. 

• Instead of black pudding, I’ll have avocado slices, thenkyewveddymuch.

• The bacon will be thick and Canadian but vegan too. 
  

• Throw in a plant-based chorizo sausage or two.

• The beans must be spicy and black instead of bland and brown.

• Breakfast potatoes will be crisp tater tots sprinkled with crumbled bleu cheese. 

• There WILL be hot sauce!

• The coffee will be darker than my soul with just a whisper of coconut milk drizzled in to leaven the bitter edge…SLIGHTLY.

I guess that’s not actually an English brekky at all but HEY, it’s close! (sort of, maybe, kinda) Also too, I’m not in fucking England. So...ummmm...there?

Then, for tea (or an early supper), I’ll have the Frog and Peach’s glorious fish reuben sammich. The sammy will be on chunky dark rye bread, accompanied by a full hod of French fries. The pommes frites will come from the no longer extant dive, (which masqueraded as a ‘family restaurant’), Grumpy’s. The joint had generally mediocre grub—about what you’d expect from a greasy spoon—but the fries were abso-orgasmic.

Well then, I guess I’m now on the other side of what was, quite possibly, my very first I-want-something-to-eat-but-I-don’t-know-what moods. That was weird.

Will I have any of the above mentioned enchantments on a plate anytime soon. Unlikely. Why not? Eh, I don’t need mondo amounts of fuel for the pathetically small measure of exercise I’ve been doing lately (under a mile on each of the past five days—SHEESH).

Donna haz a sad. Maybe a neapolitan would cheer me up?