Brains and No Brains

I had one of my thrice yearly MRI days yesterday. Over the past five years I’ve switched over to the open MRI. No more torpedo tube shaped coffins for me. Unlike our bloodsucking fiend friends, I just can’t abide them. Open MRI's, from my standpoint, are doable BUT:

• My head is still stuffed in a cage and tightly packed in so that I can’t move and fuck up the scans.
  

• While the machine’s sides are mostly open, I’m wedged between a lower and upper plate like a ham sandwich. Yeah, I’m the ham.

The scanning of me bean and the spine section (today was lumbar day...wheee!) takes two hours. If I need a third spine stretch done, I schedule it for another day. Three hours, even in the open MRI, is too damn long for me and my antsy self.

Because I have astro high claustrophobia and anxiety I have to med up with gummies, a hot toddy and extra small doses of lorazapam, starting two days in advance of MRI Day. No, I’m not getting drunk or pongingly high—I’m just trying to, in advance, remain calm so I’m able to get into the machine AND stay there for the test’s duration.

My scheme works.

Here’s a wicked cool thing—MGH now has a brandy new MRI. One of the techs told me about it AND showed it to me. It’s a tube BUT the bore is bigger than the traditional model. The new wide bore measures 70 centimeters versus 60 in the old school MRIs. Not only does wide bore baby scan at twice the speed of the open MRI, it has better image quality. Wide bore's image quality is NOT quite as good as the closed old school tube though.

I’ll need to discuss this with Plotkin next week when I get my scan results.

In other news form Planet Insanity, the swindling, brain banjaxed griftasaurus is working yet another con—$100,000.00 for a gold watch with his name. The watch is titled "Tourbillon." “Tourbillon,” in case you were unaware, is a French term that means "whirlwind." I’m gonna assume Demento Don’s watch hands and dials spin wildly (“weaving”) as they attempt to tell time.

As he lags behind Kamala Harris in fundraising and with Truth Social stock plummeting, Trump is desperate to raise money for his campaign and legal fees any way he can. (source)

No word on who creates these Scrooge McDuck timepieces.

Are they made with the vaunted Swiss craftsmanship of Breitling? Did he go with the deeply respected home team? New York’s Bulova timepieces have flown on over 40 NASA missions. They can’t suck if astronauts wear them in space. Right?! What about Omega?

Aside from the brand's 007-related fame, there's a long-standing history of producing watches for sports, space, and the sea. Fine craftsmanship meets bold innovation here. (source)

Or does Cheato the Cheapskate have his $100K watches made by the same folks who manufacture Primark, Swatch and other fast fashion, fun watches?

To my mind, it doesn’t really matter. This low rent dusty carnival barker is just looking for some last big scores. The people with enough bucks to throw away on his cheap-ass knockoffs, gimcracks and other ridiculous shit KNOW that the watches and whatevers will never be made, let alone shipped. They all fully understand that Clownshoes is booking out on the Fraudster Express the minute he loses the presidential race. He’ll hit up some no extradition country that has golf courses and women who won’t be allowed to evade or complain about his sexual assaults.

Custer had a last stand—the Orange Moron is going after his last score.