No Tinkling For You!

So, Cosplay Kristi supposedly just wanted to use the bathroom of an Illinois government building and was turned away by big meanie office workers. OH, FUCKING SPARE ME! 

In a video posted on X by conservative commentator Benny Johnson, Noem said she was in the Chicago area to “do some operations to pick up some guys with criminal convictions” when she was denied access to the federal building by city police. A voice can be heard telling Noem and her colleagues, “No, you cannot!” after they asked to use the restroom. (source) 

“do some operations to pick up some guys with criminal convictions” roughly translates as “brutally kidnap some productive, law-abiding people whose only crime has been being Black or brown skinned and seeking a better life for themselves and their families."

ICE Barbie, as we know, is a dramatically territorial beast. The bathroom request was her marking her territory – attempting to anyway. I OWN you now! It was also Noem's attempt at a victory humiliation after the obscene, middle of the night, terrorism of separating families, dragging toddlers out of bed, zip tying, and throwing them in vans for hours. 

Supposedly the building was “known to be frequented by Tren de Aragua members and their associates.” Sure, Jan.

DHS Secretary Kristi Noem posted a video of the raid on social media, overlaid with dramatic music, showing helicopters shining bright lights onto the apartment, armed agents kicking down doors and leading people out of the building in restraints. (source) 

It’s all theater for these proud fuckheads. This administration does nothing but lie and bully. Absolutely nothing they say can be trusted. Niente! Nada! Nichts! Ingenting! 沒有什麼! Nic! 

They were terrorizing people for the crime of not being white, rich, and red hat wearing right-wing zombies. 

AND the Mar-a-Lago faced, hair-extensioned, puppy-killing, lying ass, amateur-hour operatic nightmare wants to piss on her victims after she’s had her henchmen brutalize them. THEN her ridiculously skeevy “christian” mouthpiece comes out crying about how they’re being victimized by the big, bad Illinois government who won’t even let them take a whiz.

Gosh, my heart is just breaking for them. They can go find a McDonald’s, buy a McCafé, and take a leak there. Oh wait – vampires, zombies, and other human eating demons don’t actually need to pee. Again, everything is theater for this crowd.

As long as we’re talking of all things bathroom…late yesterday, here in Valhalla we had a scare. Periodically, about once a year, we have to get the city to come out to clear the roots and such out of the pipe that connect Valhalla to the town sewer system. It’s usually not a big deal. The workers arrive fast. Pipes are cleared in no time – easy peasy. This time? There was another back up after the workers left.

I went into panic mode instantly. Why? I am NOT a camper. I NEED running water and flush toilets. I would NOT have survived in pre-Industrial Revolution America. My idea of camping? Staying at a B&B with a shared bathroom. Yeah, I don’t do that anymore either.

Jen said it looked like the main pipe had collapsed. They were getting the city to come in again. Serious anxiety instantly percolated. I began planning alternate accommodations for Ten, Cake, and I for however long would be needed. I was dreading the damage to our wee savings account.

Amazingly, the city workers were back in a flash and they had fabulous news. The pipe had NOT collapsed (it was just a weird trick of the light/odd reflections) and the problem was that they’d just not gotten all the pesky roots out on the first attempt.

PHEW!

So, today is a beautiful Sunday in Valhalla. We can all have a stress free flushable pee here at home. I bet we’d be allowed into Illinois government buildings for a quick slash too ‘cause we’re not asshole domestic terrorists like Cosplay Kristi.