Mouse Totentanz – Bob's Story

Neither of them looks remorseful in the least, eh?

It’s only fair for me to present The Amazing Bob’s side of the Mouse Badminton story. He tells it in rhyme.

Donna in her T-shirt
   and I in mine own
Had just settled our brains
   for dreams of desserts
When all at once
   we felt the soft concussion
We knew what it was
   without much discussion
I turned on a lamp
   and we gazed at the quilt
As Coco, our cat, danced with a mouse
   (lacking all guilt)
The mouse was a cute one
   we had to admit
A Disney-like rodent
   who did not give a shit
If he gnawed on who gnawed on our cheese
   leaving behind some unpleasant disease
And so Coco continued her agile pursuit

When it headed for Donna, she let out a hoot —

When the cat had it cornered under a chair
We turned off the lamp
   and slept with no further care

But then in the morning

Jen's illustration of the events. It's like she was RIGHT there!

   I woke to Donna without visible cheer
Cleaning up chunks of rodent flesh
   left by our Coco as our souvenir.

You’ll note, he leaves out the stanza telling of the mousie badminton game in which they'd gleefully engaged.

Hmmm, funny that.

The second morning following this big fun, as I descended our stairs in search of coffee, coffee, coffee, I felt a squish and squelch under my heel. Oof, our girl’s been busy. You know, neither Bob nor I ever see mice or any evidence of them. My thought is that Coco, after we’ve gone to bed, gets all bored and begins dialing up Mouse Outcall services.

Note to self: MUST cancel Coco’s subscriptions to The Phoenix and Village Voice.