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Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Cat Tyranny

Coco takes a break from watching me fetch her toys
Rocco and the Gaze of Doom
Woke at 2AM for a quick slash (fascinating, no?) and inadvertently triggered Rocco’s OH, it’s time to get up so you can pat me endlessly! response. Somewhere along the line, in his transformation from feral-ish outdoor boy to schmoozebaggian indoor prince, he’s picked up the paw-in-face and pull-the-covers-down-off-my-head tricks. He’s even learned that, should I fail to respond to either, a little extended claw works a treat.

Was our boy hungry – starved to death's doorstep? Nope. He had a nearly full bowl of kibble. Hadn’t finished his Fancy Feast either. Chin skritches and petting is what he wanted. Give me attention NOW!

When our princess Coco had wake-the-slave duty, she was zealously, boldly direct. She’d take running, flying leaps, to land square on my midsection. Yup, always effective in getting my carcass outta bed. Kitten may look like a tiny thing but she’s densely packed. At 4AM she weighs, I believe, 300 pounds. Give or take.

The Conscious Cat suggests shifting cat dinner hour to right before I hit the sack. That’d make sense IF Rocco was waking me because he was hungry.

Ace Pet Care says I should play with them more. Em, Rocco’s not into play. He wants to be brushed, patted, skritched and then he wants to simply sit by my side like a good dog.

Coco’s another story. She likes to play hide and seek and tag. Fucking with my knitting, while I’m knitting, is great sport for her. Sometimes she even enjoys a game of fetch with one of her little fluorescent bouncy balls. (this always, somehow, turns into her watching me throw the ball and then, after a few moments, fetching it my own damn self)

Yes, I should play with Coco more and give Rocco extra brushing but I seriously doubt this’d buy me more rack time.

Ace also suggests that I not:
…allow your cat to sleep in the room with you and shut your bedroom door to prevent it from coming into the room while you are sleeping. This is a really hard thing to do. But, if you don’t respond to the cat’s demands to enter the bedroom, eventually it will content itself sleeping some other place just as comfortable.
Yeah right, like that’ll happen. Rocco staked out our closet as HIS bedroom, his safe place, well over a year ago. That’s his. He kindly let’s me hang my clothes and store the blankets there. Good boy. The aggressive wakey-wakey act only began a few months ago.

I think he misses The Amazing Bob. Of course he does. We all do.

Then there’s the laser focused Gaze of Doom. OK, OK, not doom but the look is positively scarily hypnotic.  Both Coco and Rocco employ this stratagem. What? What do they want?! According to vetSTREET:
Often, she’s staring because she wants something to eat and believes that if she stares into your eyes she can somehow control your mind and force you to do her bidding.
Gratuitous pumpkin pic


  1. Well I am doing it wrong, because I let Alfie the kitty sleep with us. But that is one of my favorite parts, so... haha.

    Coco and Rocco are ADORABLE!!!

    1. I can't keep the cats outta the bedroom at night. That'd just be SO wrong!

      And thank you!