Sleepless in Valhalla

Rocco – calculating or caring?

Woke at 1AM and could NOT get back to sleep. Yes, I tried the ol' deep breathing gambit. I attempted to calm my thoughts but, after a fruitless hour, I gave up. It’s been a long time since 1AM's come 'round with me stone, solid, that's-it-for-tonight awake. My beloved Amazing Bob was still here the last time this happened.

I fired up my iPad, thinking I’ll find something anesthetizing to read. HAH! Not bloody likely given our deranged conman Prez, the criminally enabling Republican party AND their loyal loggerheaded followers. I have to keep reminding myself that the Flaming Orange Id LOST the popular vote by 2.9 MILLION! America is NOT all of a sudden swamped by white hooded robe wearing, fascist fucking asstoads. Yeah, there’s far too many of ‘em but they ARE the minority. Dammit.

I’m clearly out of practice with the whole relaxation thing.

I should do what Michelle of Rubber Shoes in Hell does. She unleashes her creative curiosity, pondering deep topics such as:

Was Mr. French happy with his career choice?
If I had a time machine, would I use it responsibly?
Would Norman Reedus like my banana bread?
Is there an accurate way to measure how much wood a woodchuck can chuck? (source)

If I did this I could, quite possibly, find answers, deep in the hidden corners of my bean, to such important issues like:
1)  Taupe – who named this color? Sounds like a foo-foo, made up marketing buzzword to sell overpriced silk stockings.

2)  Mark Hamill – I had SUCH a crush on him after seeing Star Wars: A New Hope (and, back then, it was just plain Star Wars. Who knew the story would go on and on?) I never got the appeal of Han Solo. Yeah he had a devilish charm but, at the tender and supremely idealistic age of 19, I was more turned on by Luke Skywalker’s Force questing optimism and determination.

Did you know? Hamill's 65! I thought he was my age.

So then, what’s Crush Boy been up to besides deep, non-speaking parts in The Force Awakens?

Last week, Hamill debuted The Trumpster, a supervillain alter ego who reads Trump tweets in the voice of The Joker, who Hamill voices in the DC animated universe. (source)

Hoo BABY I wish I could hear this!

3)  Is Rocco opportunistically after copious pats and chin skritches or is he offering comfort/taking care of me when he visits at WAY TOO conscious 1AM? Does it HAVE to be one or the other? Could my furry former feral have two motivations?

4)  Why don’t I read more, different sorts of blogs? And by different I mean, NOT political. Yes, politics can be in the mix but how’s about some other stuff like travel stories, adventures in friendship, aging, food, family, random craziness, ART, etc.

Funny is good – VERY good and mega importante but I don’t need writers to make me laugh 24/7. Honest. Got any recommendations?

Possibly my problem is that, when I do come up with all these crucial questions at 1AM, the iPad is right there at bedside. Somehow I always end up back at the horrors du jour. New plan – I leave the iPad downstairs when I go to bed and put pad and pen by the bed. I can write down my questions whilst employing relaxation techniques.