Wake Up Call

 Let’s talk about my boy Rocco for a sec. Some mornings, VERY early, he gets bored. It’s not like I wake because I hear him zooming around the bedroom. Why not?

            A) I'm deaf so, yeah, not gonna hear his antics.
            B) Rocco’s an old fella now. He don’t zoom. Shenanigans are much more sedate.

How can I tell he’s bored? He wakes me up, dammit, that’s how!

Rocco's first attempt to rouse my poor sleeping carcass involves repeatedly tapping me on the tête. This does wake me but I always pull the duvet over my head and tell him “five more minutes, Rocco!” Unless, like this morning, it’s 2:30 in the bloody AM. Today I barked at him, “it’s too damn earlier, Boy, lemme sleep!”

Yeah sure....he listened, he paid heed. NOT!

Rotten beast wasn't hungry – he just wanted/NEEDED attention. Rocco escalated the wakey-wakey tactics by pushing a little paw under the covers and skritching my chin. When that didn’t work he went all Assault Level Four. He put his whole head under the covers, went nose to nose with me and allowed that NOW would be the time to get up and administer some motherfucking pats and skritches.  Dammit woman, GET UP!

Christ on kibble, he sure as Hell got his point across.

My poor old kitten’s never gone to Level Four before so I guess he must’ve been rilly, très ennui-ridden.

It’s times like this that I’m just stunned and amazed to recall his long, fierce, feral jungle warrior days. It was TEN years before he would allow me to come close to him AND pat him. Geez and I thought I had commitment issues.

When my cats aren't happy, I'm not happy. Not because I care about their mood but because I know they're just sitting there thinking up ways to get even.
~ Percy Bysshe Shelley

How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven.
~ Robert A. Heinlein

Y'all know I'm bound for Heaven's platinum level suites, right?

Cats do not have to be shown how to have a good time, for they are unfailing ingenious in that respect.
~ James Mason

You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.
~ George Mikes

The phrase ‘domestic cat’ is an oxymoron.
~ George Will