Let’s Tawk

Yesterday, I made it to the Y at bloody 8AM for what I thought would be water tai chi. Nope, it was water aerobics. Fine, fine – I’d intended to take this class too but my bean was all set for tai chi.

A few things about the class:

• I was, quite possibly, the youngest in the class by a good ten years. Also the tippiest and the only deafie (no surprise on that last bit).

• I don't think I've ever seen so many flat asses in one place in my entire life. Freaky and what the motherfucking fuck?!?! Do our butts automatically deflate at 65? Ya know, that was no fart – that was the sound of your backside going all after-party birthday balloon. No one told me that I have this to look forward to on top of grey hair and dinners at 4PM.
  

• EVERYone was so nice, helpful and welcoming! One woman, seeing (or hearing from the teach) that I was a wobbly thing, suited me up with some sort of foam belt. This woulda been awesome EXCEPT now it was as though I was exercising in zero-g. My feet wouldn’t touch down to the pool floor and I was inclined, on every kick, every move, to tip sideways. I wouldn’t sink but I wouldn’t be upright and able to follow Kate’s demos either. Yeah, I took the damn thing off and, when needed, hung on to the pool edge for support.

• I wanted to watch what the the other aerobicizers were doing, how they were moving as I wasn’t always sure that I was understanding Kate’s mimed instructions. Unpossible! The water swirled and churned as everyone hopped, shimmied and lunged – I could only see heads bobbing above the surface. There was a lot of guessing as to what I was supposed to be doing. Frustrating but, lost as I was, I got a pretty good workout.

Did I mention? My fellow water bobbers were all wonderful. A couple, however, were wholly unclear on the concept  of “deaf." As I sat poolside after class, I noticed a woman (still in the water) buzzing in my direction. I asked if she was talking to me and volunteered, I’m deaf. She said, I know and continued yapping at speed. I was able to pick out a word here and there – she was inviting me to stay for the next class – Aqua Salsa. How sweet! I replied that I just wanted to watch – get a sense of what it’s all about. She pushed on like a steamroller, as though I hadn’t just said no thanks. She sparkled and exuberated – it’s fun, a lot faster and, she proudly beamed, there’s music!

I must have looked at her like she had three heads, each one more dimwitted than the last BUT I refrained from verbal imperioso-ness. Yea me! It seems my look communicated Jane, you ignorant slut though. She asked, and kept asking until I could piece together what she was going on about – can’t you feel the beat?

Me: Is the music playing now?
Her: Yes.
Me: Then, no I can’t feel the beat.

Swear to Bast, that scene in Children of a Lesser God has everyone believing that all deafies actually feel sound – all sound/all the time. Ah…no. While I can feel some music, some of the time, I can’t feel it all and I MOST DEF don’t experience the complexity, the depth and dimension that a hearing person can. DUH and shit.

Music is still a mystery to me – what I can feel and what I can’t. Perhaps I would be able to feel the salsa in a different, less bustling environment (I expect so) or if I was able to put my hands on the speaker so’s I could feel the beat with my fingers (NOT a smart scheme when in the pool).

I know that I can feel Evelyn Glennie’s music in the calm of my house with just Coco’s prancing about to distract me. It helps to be able to watch, to sync up sound/feel and vision.

This morning, at 11, is the water tai chi class. I’m looking forward to it.