When you have your health...

That old saw, when you have your health, you have everything, has always irritated the shit out of me. I get that this is basically a shut up and be grateful thing. At the same time, it implies that if you don’t have your health you have nothing. Such colossal bullshit.

Still and all, if you’re healthy, you’ve got a brill head start on us'ns who aren't.  

LIFE IS HARD and takes effort! *whine, snivel, KVETCH!*

Unlike The Amazing Bob, who took very good care of his skin suit, his bag of bones and such, I’ve been a bit of a wastrel. I spent my first 40+ years eating all the wrong things and too much of them, tippling way more than I should, not being diligent and consistent about exercise. I stayed out late in clubs dense with ciggy smoke too often, et cetera.

Somewhere in that fourth decade, I snapped out of it, became a vegetarian, started moderating my firewater intake and commenced with regular-ish exercise. I even got down to my college weight – YEA ME! Still, the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune (Nf2! TAB's myriad health struggles! Jen's!) tripped me up and I fell into old, bad habits.

I'm back in the swing of things now. Better late than not at all, don'cha know. I wonder, as I close in on *GASP* 60, what can I anticipate on top of my pro-level Nf2 crapoli? I wanna be ahead of the game.

AARP has a handy dandy list. Each bit is broken down neatly – Good News, Not-So-Good-News, What's Up With That? and What's Ahead.

In it I found that:
Drier skin’s a thing. Yea, fewer zits! Conversely, I’m having to apply industrial strength moisturizer a few zillion times a day or else I look just too, too Tales From the Crypt-ish.

Mummies in the Monks’ Corridor of the Catacombe dei Cappuccini
OR
me, Sylvie and Greg out for a lunchtime very dry martini (shaken, not stirred)

Bones and joints get creakier and more brittle. Exercise and “maintaining a normal weight” help guard against breakage and shit. While I'm now the Calorie Count Queen and hit the Y molto regularly, I gotta add in some weight lifting. *groan* There's always something more to be done, no?

Metabolism’s slow up – yes, EVEN MORE. *sigh* AARP’s advice on this? Again with the regular exercise and calorie cutting.

I WANT A MAGIC PILL! NOW!!! DAMMIT!

The old ticker gets a bit iffy after 60 too.

Heart disease accounts for more than 20 percent of all deaths among men and women ages 65 to 74.

Basically, recommendations for skipping out on a lot the bullshit and pitfalls of aging, come down to eating healthy/sensibly, exercising regularly and NOT rockin' a Jabba the Hut-esque profile (you know, like 45).

I’ve got this.

Was there any flat out, no qualifications, good news? Yes.

Happiness
Apparently we get happier when we cross the Rubicon of 60.

A recent AARP survey showed that from your early 50s on, happiness increases over time. One explanation for the trend: years of experience. "As you get older, you know that bad times are going to pass," says Laura Carstensen, Ph.D., director of the Stanford Center on Longevity. "You also know that good times will pass, which makes those good times even more precious.”

I’ll take it.