WHAT the fuck was up with yesterday?
Was Mercury in retrograde? (Sorta but not so much.)
Was Mars in Capricorn AGAIN?! (Not yet but Venus was entering Taurus and the Morning Star just totally hates spending any time with that bellicose, testosteroned bull.)
Full moon? Nope, but we are approaching the Sap Moon, the second Blue Moon of this young-ish year.
All in all, I got no bloody clue.
I had a 10AM, much needed appointment with Janice. Normally, I leave home an hour and a half beforehand. This leaves me enough travel and parking-hunt time with a little left over so’s I can hit Trader Joe’s and/or the neighborhood’s awesome used book emporium. Given that I was at the tail end of rush hour, I gave myself an extra 10.
I shoulda been in awesome shape, made in the shade with plenty 'o' time…right?
Wrong.
What was the dead giveaway that turning around and heading back home would be the smart plan? Quincy Shore Drive, on the approach to the Neponset Bridge and, beyond that, the entrance to painful 93N, was backed up all the way to the Dunkin’ Donuts. That’s one mile and it was a solid parking lot.
45 minutes later, I was over the bridge thinking, if the angels are with me, I may just make it. Angels, sadly, had banged in. I shot Janice an email saying that traffic was appalling and I didn't think I'd make it. She replied that we could start at 10:30 instead. Fabulous! I figured I was all set.
Nope. I missed a turn off, ended up going the long way 'round and THEN got pulled over by a cop. Why? Patrol Guy was working traffic on a construction site and, don’cha know, that’s a dullsville gig. I think he was bored. After we got past the I'm-deaf, etc., business, he scolded me (in writing and molto stern looks) for “flying past” a neon orange vested, jaywalking construction worker.
I saw the guy and had slowed way the fuck down. Dude was, more or less, half a block away and already across the street by the time I was close enough to check out his ass.
I can be an argumentative cuss, particularly when I know I’m in the right, (and I so was), BUT I’m also bright enough to know that it don’t pay to squabble with a cop – particularly one who’s clearly bored and looking for entertainment.
How did I respond? Full fledged horrified “OMG, I was supposed to stop, not just slow down?!!! I had no idea! Oh nos!!!” Yes, I was rockin’ the disingenuity somethin’ fierce but, gotta say, Streep would’ve been proud of my performance.
He let me go with a flinty admonition. I drove on, pulled over and emailed Janice, to tell her I wasn't gonna make it. Hmmph. I'd now been in transit for two fucking hours. I was rattled+ and in no shape to motor back home. I drove on to a neighborhood where I could snag brekkie and a book. Found parking right away and had change for the meter too. Yea me – serenity was at hand!
When I came back to Bix I found – yes – a ticket. *sigh, groan* I think I'll take the bus to the Y today.
Boy, the cops sure had it in for you. Sometimes they just want to get you on anything remotely plausible. I don't know if Mars was in Capricorn, but it sounds like Uranus was in Troubleum.
ReplyDeleteI shot Janice
A confession in writing! I wonder if there's a reward for tips?
As for traffic jams, some believe that they too can be produced by the malign influence of large globular objects, such as Chris Christie. I think he's still in New Jersey, not Capricorn, but you never know.
Myanus and the whole rest of me too!
DeleteThat confession would only be prosecutable if I shot the sheriff (but not the deputy) but you knew that already.
Christie still exists? Man'o'man, I thought he'd been rendered down and was just a gross, oleaginous lake in Northern N.J. now. No?
In any case, I'm sure Capricorn and the rest of the heavens are grateful.