Tits, spoons and other useful epithets

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
~ Mark Twain

Well, FUCK yeah!

The Tangerine Twit is in the UK for meet and greets, a fresh stage on which to spew his bizarre, fever dream fabrications and, of course, golf. London was ready.

The orange-hued blimp of President Donald Trump stands at six meters (19.6 feet) tall, and features "small hands, a tiny mobile phone and a giant nappy/diaper," according to the organizers.
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Blimp organizer Leo Murray told CNN the giant balloon had been designed to speak to Trump "in a language that he understands, which is personal insults.”
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Organizers now say they hope to take the blimp on a "world tour," following Trump on his international diplomatic engagements. (source)

I do hope they can make that happen! They should make small, six foot versions for mass market sales. I just know they’d be flying from most porches and flagpoles around here.

BBC News notes that:

Some people say it is a legitimate protest against a US President with controversial policies, while others argue it is disrespectful to a democratically-elected ally of the UK with whom the government hopes to agree a free-trade deal. (source)

In a democratic election, citizens elect their president. We did – Hillary Clinton won by three million votes. The archaic, insulting, dunderheaded and all-in-all bullshit electoral college awarded the presidency of our once great nation to a fraud, a huckster a cheap-ass, incompetent, motherfucking bully in orange makeup and a bad suit. So….NO, Trump was not democratically elected. Also too, Russia.

This is dated but, with Fat, Spray-Tan Hitler golfing in Scotland this weekend, it’s getting a welcome replay.

The linguistically gifted and creative Scots were taking the Orange Obscenity to task for his utterly buffoonish lies about Brexit. Scots voted, overwhelming, to stay in the European Union.  Apparently Pig Man either missed the memo or, more likely, just went with his usual febrile and fucked, Fox "News" fairy tale version of reality.

He's been called a weapons grade plum, a tit, an absolute fucking doughnut, spoon, gobshite, witless fucking cocksplat, weaselheaded fucknugget, mangled apricot hellbeast, clueless numpty, bloviating fleshbag, toupéd fucktrumpet, incomprehensible jizztrumpet, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon and cockwomble.

Some of these are easily understandable BUT I had to look up a few.

Weapons Grade Plum – A fool, an idiot. It’s also sometimes a testicle reference. So, basically the insulter is calling the maggot brained, narcissistic head of the Republican Party a very stupid ball sack.

Cocksplat – jizz. Ya know?

Cockwomble – A completely useless person who spouts constant bullshit (source)

Doughnut – an extremely stupid person who lacks both intelligence and common sense. An idiot.

Fucknugget – An objectionable person.

Fucktrumpet – the Urban Dictionary tells me this is another term for Trump supporter. They also note that it means “whiny little bitch.”
AND

Noun - A colonialist/religious fundamentalist/supremacist or bigot in any way, shape or form who refuses to stop the shitstream flowing from their face hole at any given time.

My friend James called my black girlfriend the n-word. What a fucktrumpet.

Gobshite – A stupid person who runs their mouth.

Numpty – an idiot

Shitgibbon – a moron, an idiot, a worthless person

Spoon – a simpleton

Tit –  A foolish or ineffectual person, a nincompoop.

That pool of rabid, diarrheal rat shit in the White House has also been called a:
wankpuffin, dickbiscuit, twatwaffle, turdweasel, bunglecunt, shitehawk,  cuntpuffin, spunkpuffin, shitpuffin, fuckwomble, twatwomble, spunktrumpet, shitbiscuit, arsebiscuits, douchebiscuit,  douchewaffle, cockwaffle, fartwaffle, cuntwaffle, shitwaffle, crapweasel, fuckweasel, pissweasel and doucheweasel.

Most of this last batch are easy to suss out but I’ve included helpful links here and there. As always, the Urban Dictionary is wonderfully informative.

Ya know, at least the tyrannical, weaselheaded fartwaffle’s been a linguistic inspiration. I believe bunglecunt, shitehawk, fucknugget and spoon are my favorites this morning.

How's 'bout you?