Flawed

That’d be moi – yurs truly.

I’m so lucky to have friends who remind me of all the shit that slips my mind. Those forgetables, by the by, are MYRIAD. Fer instance, this afternoon is, hopefully, the first of many appointments at BostonSight.

What have I forgotten?

Paperwork.

The dirty rotten, assholic insurance company won’t cover all that’s involved and needed for a successful experience with the PROSE lens. BostonSight, however, offers financial aid. Jen just reminded me to collect and bring all my paperwork to this afternoon’s meet/greet/exam.

I rilly truly hate dealing with financial shit. It always gives me a case of roiling heebie-jeebies. Warum? Submitting all this VERY personal paperwork is scary. What if the company goes all Republi/Facist on me and says I don’t deserve a break on this vision giving lens because, based on my tax returns, they can see that I’m lazy as a hippo on a hot summer day, stupid as a panda AND I’ve displayed hideously hippy-ish taste in clothes. Therefore, I clearly don’t deserve stellar, clear optics.

Republican axiom – We only assist and support needy millionaires and billionaires.

As for my feared scenario? Not bloody likely. Still, this anxiety over a not terribly likely, cruel and callous dismissal makes me forgetful.

Forgetfulness is a form of freedom.
~ Kahlil Gibran

Yeah, Baby, tell it! It’d be mondo awkward and, possibly, disastrous if I neglected to bring my uncomfortably revealing paperwork BUT in the time spent before my absentminded oopsy became a big, fat, horror-show problem, I’d be wonderfully calm.

Today is, very likely, the beginning of a new advenuture. My well connected temp eyeball minder is confident that I’m a candidate for this prosthetic cornea. (and she should know – she used to work for BostonSight) I’ll jump through the paperwork hoops – this isn’t brain surgery, ya know. I CAN do this.

If the financial types determine that I’m not poor enough to warrant a discount, I’ll opt for their no-interest payment plan. It might take me a few years to pay it off (and I despise being in debt) but I’ll have the lens. I’ll keep my left eye and it’ll be less wonky too.

Left unattended, my nervousness feeds on itself. It grows and spreads like fire in a dry forest. Gotta avoid all the what-if shit today lest I end up with a brain banjaxing blaze of jitters.

What can I do to head that off (besides getting my paperwork in order)? Laps. Doc Jacobs said it’s safe for me to get back in the pool. Me and the Y – we’ve got a serious date this morning.

He looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to shove cyanide in the consommé, and the dinner-gong due any moment.
~ P.G. Wodehouse, Carry on, Jeeves

I’m also avoiding mirrors this morning. I don’t need to know how haggard and careworn I look today.