I wondered, not for the first time, what became of her coddled chidden and her husband, who’d straight up told her that he wanted a girlfriend – not a divorce, just a girlfriend. I found myself thinking about reconnecting but why. WHY? She’d burned her bridge with me but good. Am I developing a strain of masochism? Am I looking to expand my doormatism beyond the feline realm? What did I hope for or expect to find in rekindling that deservedly dead friendship.
I guess I was hoping for the good parts of our friendship – some honestly did exist. I was imagining that she’d aged out of her toxic self-absorbed stylings, had gained some understanding of what constitutes supportive behavior and what does NOT.
My imagination, just FYI, can be infused with more optimism than reality.Can people really change? A fable comes to mind:
The Scorpion asks the Frog for a ride across the river. The Frog responds, “Are you kidding? Of course not! I know you, Scorpion, and you would sting me and I’d die. No way will I carry you on my back!”
The Scorpion challenges the Frog, “Why would I do that? If I sting you and you die, we both drown. You have nothing to fear by carrying me across the river.” The Frog decides that what the Scorpion said makes sense, so he agrees to the request.
Midway across the river, the Scorpion stings the Frog. As the Frog gasps his last breath before drowning, he implores the Scorpion, “Why? Why did you sting me, knowing we will both drown?” The Scorpion replies, “It’s my nature.”
Fer instance, Mary quit the booze (AFTER her third DUI, totaling a friend’s car and doing jail time) BUT she’s still a willfully ignorant, dimwitted MAGAt. Sober but not automatically a thoughtful, good person.
Trudy’s not doing pills anymore but she’s still unable to walk a mile in another’s Vans (this despite being a therapist). No more the substance abuser but still woefully short on empathy.
REAL critical self awareness is what’s needed if you wanna grow and change. That doesn’t happen automatically after you drop the inebriants. If you were an asshole before, you probably still are.
Now then, Cheri wasn’t a drinker or a pill popper – she was/is a sober egomaniac. Have any other big changes happened in her life which MIGHT have led to serious introspection and possible personal growth?
Who knows. We hadn’t any mutual friends. I googled her but found nada but that she still exits. No details AT ALL. I’d love to know how she’s been doing these past 16 years since I dumped her unevolved ass. Ya know, grab a cuppa and schmooz, find out if she was visited by the evolution faeries BUT I’m wholly uninterested in being her uncompensated shrink again.
I guess this’ll remain a mystery
