Recovery

Ohara Koson 小原古邨

Today is my fourth morning waking at home versus MGH since the ER episode. Yea me!

I believe I'm healing – just MEGA slowly. I've yet to walk down to the water. Maybe today (Ten just vetoed the idea :-(. It'll be up close to 30º at some point and I NEED to challenge myself!

Ten, Jen, Coco and Oni are taking brill care of me. Of course they are! I'm mega lucky.

I need to remember that the tumor, the meningioma that Barker took out was HUGE – a real motherfucker and it had gained that size in the space of six months, effecting me terribly. I'd lost the ability to write legiblly – print OR script. I had headaches ALL the damn time (no more...thank Bast!). My crap balance was even more crappy.

Now, I've begun to heal. This is gonna take time and I'm an impatient motherfucker. I thought this'd be simple and fast because it's just a meninioma, not an acoustic neuroma. Nope – shit's not that simple. Bummer!

As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation -- either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.
~ Martin Luther King Jr.

 you look at me and cry
everything hurts
i hold you and whisper
but everything can heal
~ Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey