Nightmares and Song Cues

I rose from an horrific dream this morning. In it, I ran into a much loved old chum, Jim, at a restaurant. He was there with his wife who, in real life, absolutely despises me. I, honestly now, don’t know why – what the spark was for this intense enmity. Maybe she doesn’t like my looks or perhaps it’s my sparkling, foul-mouthed patter. Who knows? I, very sadly, have seen much less of him since he married Meg. Hmmph!

Back in Dreamsville, I asked Jim how he was doing and was stunned by his answer. He was dying and would, in fact, be dead within two days. It appeared that everyone in his circle was already aware. I was the last to know AND only got the news by odd chance – walking into the bistro where they happened to be dining.

A maelstrom of emotions settled in – intense sadness that Jim would soon be history, a vast hurt that he hadn’t told me, that I was finding out so incidentally. No, I didn’t think Jim owed me anything BUT I thought, despite his hateful wife, we were still, on some significant level, close. Apparently not.
And then I woke up carrying a full hod of confliction. I figured I’d done something awful to deserve Meg’s hatred. I felt foolish and stupid to think Jim and I are still, in any way, close. I'm obvs past tense – why hadn’t I seen this before? AND, OMG, how IS Jim? Was this hellscapey dream prophetic? UN-bloody-likely but, all the same, I’ve sent a text and hope to hear back.

I doubt I’ll ever know the reasons for Meg’s Donna-loathing. That’s OK – my only wish, really, is that she and Jim are happy together. OK, I’d love to know that her hate is NOT due to some social crime I may’ve committed but, instead, is all about what’s swirling around in Meg’s bean. Ya know, get me off the guilt/worry hook and shit.

I was SO knocked out by this dream that I considered not going on my morning walk. BUT

• exercise is my antidepressant – the ramble would chill my heinous mood.
• I NEED to walk, elliptical and PT exercise my ass off over these next two pre-surgery weeks so that recovery is smoother, faster and, possibly, less painful.

So I walked. Yea me. And now THIS tune’s happily rockin’ my bean.

In other BIG news, I ordered a couple new face masks and they’re actually NOT tie dye. I know – shocking! I figure we’re all gonna be masked up for another year, so I may as well have a decent, fashion forward selection from which to choose.

These are from Bleecker Street Designs – found on Etsy.

Ooo, ooo, speaking of fashion, another tune is spinning now!

Fashion!
Turn to the left
Fashion!
Right
Fashion!
We are the goon squad and we're coming to town
Beep-beep
Beep-beep