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Monday, September 14, 2020

Get Ready!

ARE you registered to vote? If not, get on the stick my dudes/dudettes. DO IT!

If you're not sure OR you live in a state with an assholian, 45 worshipping, fascist governor (e.g.: Kristi Noem, Brian Kemp, Doug Douchey, Ron DeathSantis and Greg Abbott) check your registration. Make sure they haven't *OOPSIE* booted you off. You can find out if you are or are not registered here. 

 You can register to vote online in all but 11 states. Those states where you canNOT conveniently register online are:

  • Arkansas
  • Maine
  • Mississippi
  • Montana
  • Oklahoma
  • New Hampshire
  • New Jersey
  • North Dakota
  • South Dakota
  • Texas
  • Wyoming

Oklahoma enacted online voter registration in April of 2015 but that was more than FIVE years ago and that's still not set up. Why is that? What’s the hold up? At this point, IF you’re already registered you can update info online but that’s it.

IF you have access to a computer and printer, you can output the registration form, fill it out and mail it in. OR hand deliver it to your county election board.

While vote-by-mail is possible in all 50 states, Tennessee, South Carolina, Mississippi, Indiana, Louisiana and Texas require a state approved reason before you can do so. In Indiana, Louisiana and Texas, not wanting to be exposed and infected by the Trump Virus is NOT considered an acceptable reason. 

Ten and I aren’t voting by mail because Trump’s handmaiden and top GOP/Treasonweasel donor. Lapdog DeJoy is succeeding in massively ratfucking the works of the US Postal system.

 
Two personal example of said ratfuckery:

  1. The Social Security Admin in MY town, mailed me some important paper work on August 26th that needed to be filled out and returned by September 11th. I received the forms on September 10th. Yep, Jen called the SSA for me and, PHEW, I’ll be fine.This is NUTS though. It took TWO weeks for an envelope to go three goddamn miles!
  2. More trivially, I ordered new bedroom slippers on August 26th and received an email confirmation – they’d hit Valhalla by September 5th and were being sent via FedEx ground. When they’d not arrived by September 10th, Jen called customer service to ask wut up. Turns out FedEx took them as far as Northborough, Massachusetts (arriving there on September 4th). From there, the USPS was tasked with completing the journey. Northborough is less than 50 miles from my town so, in pre-DeJoy banjaxing days they totally would’ve gotten to me by the 5th. My slippers finally showed up this past Saturday, the 12th.

So yeah, I’ve lost faith in mailing my ballot. Good job you miserable fucking Republi/Fascists!

My advice? If mail-in-voting is your only real option, fill out your ballot and post it the very same day you get it.

What will Ten and I do?

Early voting (as I mentioned the other day). 37 states, the District of Columbia have no-excuse early voting.

The following states (and Puerto Rico) either do NOT allow early voting OR only permit it with "approval." Check with your state's election office!

  • Alabama
  • Connecticut
  • Delaware
  • Kentucky (only with approval)
  • Michigan (only with approval)
  • Mississippi
  • Missouri
  • New Hampshire (only with approval)
  • New Jersey
  • Pennsylvania (only with approval)
  • Puerto Rico
  • South Dakota
  • Virginia (only with approval)
  • West Virginia (only with approval)

Check this site for your state’s early voting options. Also, contact your local election office to see if anything’s been changed due to Plague45.

We need to win by a landslide! Remember, if your vote didn't matter the fuckers wouldn't be working overtime to make this so damn dificult.