If I Only Had a Brain

Woke from a night chock-full of dreams about running late.

• Late for school
• Late for work
• Late for doc appointments
• Late for meet-ups with friends
• Late for the train’s departure

I’d wake, fall right back to sleep and plunge into another panic themed, blown schedule dream. Sure, this was loads of fun.

‘the fuck’s this all about? I’m guessing it’s just my usual recovery impatience resurfacing (like that ever went away) combined with my lifelong punctuality mania.

Joy.

Yesterday I was only feeling low levels of ouchiness after Thursday’s  trek to the seawall so, impulsive, overdoing twatzilla that I am, I attempted another walk to the sea – made it to the end of our driveway before deciding “yeah, that was fun. Time to return to the boudoir.”

After a quick lay down, I remembered that there are gentle PT exercises I can do whilst recumbent. If I only had a brain, I would’ve done one set and then waited an hour before attempting the next. Nope, I was feeling AOK so I did three rounds of exercises in a row. I STILL felt decent so I rumbled downstairs and out to the porch to hang with Ten and the now out-of-quarantine Jen and Oni.

I was feeling pretty damn good until, of course, this morning.

*sigh city*

Will I ever learn to slow down, take it easy and fucking let myself heal? I sure as fuck hope so but I’m not holding  my breath!

I also didn’t do a perfect job of avoiding the doomscrolling yesterday.  I DID less though AND, when I felt myself weakening I’d google up some cute cat vids, book reviews and other weird shit at Colossal (art, design, and visual culture.) and My Modern Met (art, design and photography)

What’s up for today? Sitting outside, gazing at the blue, blue sky through the trees, and having “tea” with Jen, Oni and Ten while we watch Black Panther.

 Exercise? Maybe I’ll take the day off.