After November’s fun adventure I was afraid to go to sleep at night. Why? I was stressed that I’d, again, wake at 1AM, having another seizure. It took about a week of no-seizure-goodness before I could easily drift off to Lullaby Land.
It’s not yet been a week since my December 10th quake-a-thon. So yeah, I’m doing the deep breathing exercises, applying heating pads, inviting Coco to nap on my chest and, just generally, attempting to release the tension coursing through my veins. I was a wee bit more hyped up last night as I’d not heard back from my neuro team about one specific, important issue. It was late Sunday afternoon though – I hadn’t really expected I would but knew I’d never get to sleep without an answer.
To stop my seizures, I’ve been taking an extra dose of Keppra. For the last two out of four recent seizures, I had to take two extra pills to stop the extreme shakes. Now that my ‘script’s been increased to max dosage, would it be safe for me to take that much more Keppra in one 24 hour span? I rather doubt it.
According to Web MD some, just a FEW, of Keppra’s side effect include:
- Decreased Appetite (this is good!)
- Dizziness (NOT good)
- Generalized Weakness (NOT good)
- Irritability (how would I, or anyone else, know? I’m already a bellicose bitch)
- Low Energy (NOT good)
- Stuffy Nose (NOT good)
- Agitation (again, how would I, or anyone else, know? I'm already the Empress of Agitata)
- Cough (no thanks, I already have a persistent one)
- Difficulty Sleeping (so, the med to keep me from seizuring can also trigger those same motherfuckers – do I have that right?)
Jen called the 24/7 MGH Doctor Line – they looked into the matter. The doc called in a ‘script which Ten picked up for me before bedtime. No, I didn’t have another seizure last night BUT, knowing that I had the right meds to combat one, just in case, relaxed the shit outta me.
I expect I’ll hear back from the neuro team this morning and will double check on the Doctor Line doc’s instructions.
Fascinating, no?
Bottom line here is that I’m afraid a lot of the damn time now. I go out for a walk and see maskless, potential Plague45 carrying fuckheads – freaks me right the hell out (which, by the by, makes it harder to keep my balance when walking). I stay in, doomscrolling and reading prescient sci-fi – I get creeped out and discouraged. And it takes a real concentrated effort to chill the fuck out so I can get to sleep.
What will I do to calm my tumor riddled self down? I’ll paint (or, at least doodle) more. Focusing on more creative shit WILL help. I’ll elliptical and do a mix of my balance and strength PT exercises instead of walking outside. I’ll watch cringingly cute pet videos instead of doomscrolling.
I can do this – REALLY!
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