Side Effects

The good news: I’m now on, in addition to HEE-YUGE daily doses of Keppra, Vimpat. The medics feel this drug combo should stop my seizures. Thank, fucking, Bast!

Not so excellent news: I gotta go in for an EKG to make sure my heart is tolerating my new narco-cocktail. The EKG isn’t the scary part – the possibility of heart damage is.

More not so excellent news: It takes about a week to get past the odious initial side effects. What are Vimpat’s potential side effects?

• thoughts about suicide or dying (I’ve thought about dying a lot over this past very hard, health banjaxed year. I don’t believe I’ve got room to think about it more. Thanks for the heads up though)
• attempt to commit suicide (not bloody likely. In order to kill yourself, one has to make a commitment to death. As I’m sure I’ve already mentioned at some point over these bloody blogging years, I’m a commitment-phobe.)
• new or worse depression (after four+ years of the Tangerine Treasonweasel and his clown car of Fascist Fucks, I believe I’ve got this under control.)
• new or worse anxiety (see parenthetical statement above.)
• feeling agitated or restless (what I just said.)
• panic attacks (more? Will I even notice?)
• trouble sleeping (not as yet – hells bell, getting out of bed wears me out)
• new or worse irritability (will Jen, Ten or Oni detect any difference in my usual abby-normal state? Doubt it. Before she left for work this morning, I called Jen a twat. She rolled her eyes so hard that she nearly broke the sky and asked, ‘oh, is this one of those so called “side effects?” Yeah, like I’ve never hurled that epithet at her before.)
• acting aggressive, being angry or violent (aggressive and angry? See above. Violent? I’m too fucking weak for violence…unless we’re talking about a slice of carrot cake that I could just murder.)
• acting on dangerous impulses (that’s the norm for yurs truly – I can get worse? I’d be surprised.)
• an extreme increase in activity and talking (mania) (Actually, as it used to be – back in the 60s when speed was prescribed for hyper active children – I think Vimpat has pushed me over the top. I’m now in Totally Mellow/Nap City)

Dr. Coco is ALWAYS on the job!

I have noticed that my ‘essential tremors‘ have increased which is annoying as all fuck. To cope with this, I’m just trying to focus on releasing tension from my body – being conscious of my stillness (and lack thereof). 

Also too, I’m NOT going to follow the impeachment trial. Yes, the rat bastard should be convicted but, given the criminally craven state of the GQP (whose rallying cry is “we pander to the lowest, most morally bankrupt and least intelligent of this country’s citizenry – ALWAYS!"), that ain’t gonna happen.

If I go online at all, I’m not gonna read anything but good (or, at least, moving-in-the-right-directio ) climate news and happy animal stories.

Today’s goal is three minutes on the elliptical. Yesterday I showered and that, pretty much, wiped me clean out. I have an online appointment with my neurologist tomorrow. I’m not expecting any big news – just more of the same let’s watch and wait, see how this new cocktail works.*sigh*

Ya know, it feels weird to be eager to get into the OR to get the next brain surgery done and over with.