Day of the Hump

 It’s really ALL about Coco, don’cha know. My little princess, as the shelter put it eons ago when she rescued TAB and I, is a lap cat. That's just how she rolls.

In TAB’s final, less active, years that’s where I could always count on finding her (when she wasn’t pulling one of her Houdini acts, that is). Now, with me being decidedly UNmobile, she’s reliably ensconced on my lap OR around my neck.

What to do when her lap (she holds the deed, ya know) becomes more active?! Granted, this is a couple months off BUT I’m a planner. Catnip toys maybe?

I feel stalked

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Someone named Piers Morgan is being Twitted about left and right lately. I had no idea who he was. My first thought was that this was a new, mebbe upscale brand of men’s under drawers OR, possibly, an investment banking firm. Ah…no. He’s some idiot morning chat show host in Britain who went out to dinner ONCE with Meghan Markle. He's obvs still in his sads that she ghosted him afterward. In fact he's so broken up (OR just a colossal shithead — yeah, I'm bankin' on option two) — that he’s gone off about not believing her when she spoke of feeling suicidal while up the spout with her first child. 

First off, if I was a men’s underwear brand I would not go 'round acting like a complete twat about someone else’s personal struggles. Fer fuck’s sake, if you can’t be supportive of another’s deep pain (or just not be a total dickwad about it), how the fuck you gonna make a nice fella’s tackle feel cozy? Pretty damn hostile and bad marketing there Sport.

Second, you should work out your blindingly obvious hurt fee fees with a shrink or, perhaps, through some creative pursuit like art, dance or pottery maybe. Hint: passive aggressive, mean-girl hosting of chat shows doesn’t count as creative therapy. Get a blog, Dude — they’re all the rage.
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Do you know how much I LOVE that the height/depth of doomscrolling is now:

• Some overblown, massively misunderstood, weasel shit about Dr. Seuss (puh-LEEZE read the facts — NOT the RepubliQan propaganda/lies — before you post all this 'cancel culture' nonsense. Also, try to avoid making a complete moronic fool of yourself like House minority 'leader,' Kevin McCarthy. The laughably dim, mouse hearted boob showed off a vid of himself, sanctimoniously reading Green Eggs and Ham (NOT one of the books with offensive illustrations that won’t be published any longer). Yep, no craven desperation to see here, folks.
  
• Crap about Biden’s dog, Major. A VERY minor incident and NO the, usually, very good boy was NOT banished. Again, read before you shitpost!
• Oh and 45’s ‘low class’ rioters? Apparently he was expecting Brooks Brothers besuited violent dullards. Please — the spears and horned helmets ruin the line of the suit. These lower class types don't seem willing, interested or able to shell out the big bucks to stay in his overpriced hotels or play golf on his ridilculously billed courses. Such a pity — NOT!
  
• Much more seriously, while COVID numbers are generally going down Spring Break is coming up. There'll be thousands of unmasked idiots heading to the beaches. Afterwards the inevitable huge spike of cases and deaths and, oopsie, grandma's dead. Vaccinations are on the rise, thanks to Biden but, remember, the vaccine is NOT a get out of COVID hell totally free card. There are still risks and precautions to take.

I can seriously get used to the world not being burnt down around me every day by a fuckwitted fraud who's still looking for his daddy's love and approval.