WTF!?

Yesterday afternoon, I fell again. This was my third, maybe fourth, fall since my mid-march surgery. I gotta ask, what the actual fuck is this all about? Yeah, I understand that I’ve got one leg that’s not functioning up to spec. but, fer reals now, I was using my walker and had my motherfucking brace on.

Not only did I fall to the floor, on the way down I smacked my head hard against the side (not the edge but the more flexible middle area) of Ten’s dresser. I haven’t fallen and conked my bean in almost 40 years. Why not? Dr. O (my daddy-figure first brain surgeon) warned me to avoid that (and pregnancy) at all costs. As you might have already sussed, ma tête is a fragile old thing.

Ten held me while he called the kids (Jen and Oni) for an assist. They got me up and back in bed with an ice pack. I hadn’t lost consciousness and wasn’t in pain but wondered if we should call in the EMTs. Mostly I was embarrassed and stunned (so we didn’t call 911 Klutz).

This was NOT the kind of falling I’m accustomed to. I generally do a slow slide to the floor or have a last minute, grab bar save, decelerating my fall. There’s a certain elegance to my downward splats. Serious and shit! Not this time.

This morning, my left elbow hurts the most, my left knee comes in second. My bean? No bump, no pain but it’s a teensy bit warm to the touch at the impact site. I’m glad I didn’t go into the ER. Not only would that have been annoying and tedious as fuck, it was probably completely unnecessary. I hope. Jen will call Plotkin’s office tomorrow and get his thoughts. I just need to avoid the fucking MRI (AKA the claustrophobia machine).

What caused the fall? I think my sneaker was loose—it slipped halfway off without me noticing and I tripped over my other foot. Yep, I’m a class act here.