Eyeballs on Mission Hill

Jen took me in to my long awaited ophthalmology appointment yesterday morning. It was at the Mission Hill outpost of Mass Eye and Ear Infirmary. This is a part of town that I know almost nothing about. I had a vague sense that it was considered a ‘bad’ neighborhood and expected run down blocks of shabby apartments and totally unartistic graffiti. Either what I’d heard was outrageously inaccurate—the streets are full of lovely painted and kept up double and triple deckers plus delicious brownstones—OR, given Boston’s insane housing prices, gentrification hit the area hard. Whatever the case, I found myself wishing we’d considered the area when looking to buy.

Two things though:

1. It’s called Mission Hill for a reason. TAB couldn’t have walked to the corner store let alone descended to the trolley running along the main drag. I’d be the housebound one now. The streets are mondo steep!
2. If we’d been able to afford the ticket price on a double decker there, we’d never have found our happy home on the water. That would have blown seriously ugly chunks.
   

Back at my appointment though—the docs agreed with the ER crew at MEEI’s main branch. I needed a laser procedure to clean out the film that’d formed at the back of my peeper. OK, no biggie. I can do this.

Then the good doc tells me she has an opening that very day if I’d like to take it. Ummm... WHAT! My tendency, my history is to jump right in. When told I need surgery or a procedure done, my response is always, How soon can we do this? Tomorrow? Next week? This time though, I was unprepared and mega nervous. Near tears even.

Why?

After all, I’ve had this done before and it truly is no big. I think I’m just worn the fuck out. Too many surgeries, too many procedures over the last couple years. No this laser business isn’t big time surgery—just a wee procedure—but I’m still beat. Exhausted. I wanted more time to psych myself up.

Why didn’t I take it? No time like the present/dive in before I can build up a good freak out. Habit.

So, it’s done now and my vision’s already better. I’m, annoyingly, on steroid drops for the next couple of weeks. The first week it’s every six hours so poor Ten needs to set his alarm clock. Neither of us gets a full night’s sleep.

This is minimal and I’m glad the eyeball lasering done. I wish I could have been more Spock-stoic though. I waste too much energy in needless anxiety.

Think water flowing over rocks and shit. That’s what I want to be. That's what I've always wanted to be.