I Have Questions

What in unholy hell's up with this word and why do all the dictionaries get it wrong?

Evection
     noun
regular variation in the eccentricity of the moon's orbit around the earth, caused mainly by the sun's attraction.

Sounds good but nope. Evection actually refers to when God booted Eve (she was evected, duh) and that dude out of the Garden of Eden. They committed the heinous crime of eating an apple versus the nice fish and chips God had made them for dinner (presumably). The obvious lesson? Piss off the chef at your own peril. Also, this is the very first example of fuck around and find out.
I have specific questions here:

• In all of the paintings of Eve and Adam, they’re depicted as white—like, Irish/English levels of pasty. And yet, the Garden was, theoretically, located in Mesopotamia (modern day Iraq). When’s the last time you saw a wan, redheaded Iraqi? Hmmmm?

• In about half of the art I looked at, on exiting the Garden A&E are clothed in toga-like raggy robes. What up here? On which of the six days that God was busy making shit did he create looms, fabric and clothes? OR did he tell them that, if they left the house/garden they’d need to put some damn clothes on? After explaining what clothes are, he allowed that they'd best hurry and figure how to work a loom.

• There are always angels. They’re either actively chasing A&E out the door or they stand tall (and oh-so-very white), with disappointment written all over their faces. They fiercely glare like I’m SO gonna fuck you up if you don’t hurry your asses out that exit NOW.

• Another thing I’ve noticed in these depictions—no hair except for an the head. What—God hadn’t invented pubic hair yet? Gillette razors were created in the first six days? And what’s the deal with Adam but NOT Eve, always having short hair. There were barbers in Eden? This would mean that Eve and Adam were not the first humans on the planet. On which day were clippers invented? Was it on the same day as looms?
  

More quibbles:

• How come it’s the chick, Eve, who gets the blame? The fable states that Adam was there first. He was older so should’ve known better. Right? Wouldn’t it have been his responsibility to tell Eve to ignore the snake and not munch the apple? Blaming Eve is like Skitter having to take the fall for the water glass that Rosie (R.I.P.) knocked off the table. I'll bet history would be pretty damn different if Adam had stood the fuck up and taken his fair share of responsibility.
  

• Why, in the paintings, do angels have boobs? They’re not gonna reproduce and need to breastfeed little winged ones. Right? Were they supposed to but those plans got the ax when A&E were evected and began making descendents like the planet had endless resources.
  

• Why did God put the damn tree in the Garden at all if he didn't want them to eat the apple? Seems irresponsible and some piss poor planning. Frankly, I think Adam and Eve were set up.

This creation story is just riddled with holes. I'd like to speak to the manager about this.