Snow!

It was snowing, albeit lightly, last night.This morning, I spy ACCUMULATION! Okay, not much—maybe even not a full inch. Still, I haven’t walked on snow in at least a couple years. Goddamnit I’m not ready for fluffy cold flakes, ice, 20º temps and 18mph winds!

The sky’s practically flat white—no color, the clouds are pale and hazy. Is it ominous or just dull and thoroughly uninviting? Sure there’s a whole minimalist Malevich by way of Kline thing happening and that can certainly be beautiful but NOT NOW, NOT this morning.  How am I going to keep up my rehab exercising if I can’t safely navigate the streets? 

If I stop panicking for a mo, I bet I can come up with a scheme. Fer instance:

• On future snowy, windy, cold-ass days maybe Ten can drive me down to the mall before the stores open. I can mall walk. THIS is how I know I’m old (if not grey yet)—I’m willing to do laps of the fucking bourgeoise, acquisitive, retail therapy-happy mecca instead of rolling along the seawall. Avoiding the biting wind is an intense, key motivator.

• I could look into joining the Y for the worst of the winter months—they’ve got an indoor track. Only problem is, they don’t require masks so the joint’s full up with potential plague carriers. This is where I caught COVID earlier this year. Paying a monthly fee to walk and be exposed to potentially killer diseases is not tremendously appealing.
  

• I could try those traction cleats again. The last pair I had were an unstable flop. That is, they consisted of strings of corkscrewed wire that fit over my boots. Without even taking one damn step, I was off balance. It was like trying to walk on marbles. Maybe I should go all in and get trail crampons? They could double as defense weapons. Of course, cleats/crampons can only be used on snow and ice, not on hard even surfaces. They want to dig in—snow/ice-free cement walkways aren't accommodating. ...And I'm back to square one. Does anyone make a boot that'll instantly sprout cleats as pavement conditions change?
  

In November I peaked at around 1.25 total miles walked per day. So far in December? Half a mile per. This blows.

If Ukrainian avant-gardist Malevich and American abstract expressionist Kline made a baby painting