Godzilla

Sometimes ya just gotta give in to your strange, whimsical nature. Okay, I need to and yes, I'm fully aware that my odd yet vaguely amusing nature is, in point of fact, my standard operating mode.

Yesterday Ten and I went down to the MINI dealership and picked up our long awaited electric two door hardtop in what they call “grasshopper” green (with racing stripes!). It’s a beauty, is it not? You bet yur ass it’s a handsome beast AND the ride over Valhalla’s pothole riddled roads is shockingly, wonderfully smooth. Ever since my last two surgeries (7th brain and 5th spine op) in 2021, jaunts in Bix have been mercilessly painful. It got to the point that Jen had to take me to all my doc appointments—I couldn’t Superwoman my way through the commute in the wee, suspension-free Smartcar.

While Godzilla is also a small car, it’s not microscopic. My rollator folds up neatly to fit in the back—in fact, should I ever need the wheelchair again, it would fit in there nicely as well along with baggage for a ROAD TRIP (yes, there is now one or a zillion in our future). This beast is spacious! Also, the storage space folds up so there’s a back seat. Cool!

Now then, about that name. Why did we (okay, why did I) name our new coach-and-four after a 1954 movie kaiju?

1. It’s funny/cute (to me) that my little car is named after a magnificently freaky, giant lizard.
2. I’ve always been especially fond of the kaiju Godzilla and have long wanted to name a cat, car or other random possession after him.
3. They look (car and lizard), not alike but similar—they're both a lovely shade of green.

Yes, Cake would have been named for my favorite monster BUT I remembered the important lesson in furry guardian naming that TAB taught me: Hard consonant sounds and short appellations (two syllables or less) are easier for cats to hear and understand.

Okay then. The new car gets the honored sobriquet of Godzilla. Jen has suggested we could use ‘Zilla as a shortened, pet name. I asked, “why not God?” (not that I have any Christofascist, evangelical readers but I can picture the imaginary lot of them gasping deeply, as one. That gives me a distinct schadenfreude-y satisfaction).

The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that Godzilla is the perfect name for our new electric MINI.