Flaccid

Illustration by Victor Juhsz

Viagra has *ahem* pulled out of Russia.

Now then, we’re coming up on the one year anniversary of Putin and his pet billionaires’ invasion of Ukraine—February 24th. I would have thought the boner maker would have left the Evil Empire months and months ago. Hells bells, even McDonald’s and Starbucks shut shop last March. 

What took Viatris, makers of Viagra, so damn long?

Medicines and medical equipment are not subject to the sweeping economic sanctions levied against Russia by the United States, Britain, the European Union and other backers of Ukraine following Russia’s invasion.

However, Western pharmaceutical companies have warned that supplies of their products to Russia could still be disrupted as a result of the sanctions that have severed Russian banks from the international financial system and have pushed major shipping companies to suspend their operations in Russia. (source)

Viagra is considered medicine? I could understand this IF it were in the same class as Prozac, Zoloft or maybe Xanax. Ya know, an antidepressant. If you can raise the lumber, possibly you won’t be rockin’ the sadz? Depression is serious shit. Can’t get a ‘script for boner pills? Go buy yourself a little midlife crisis package—a Fox blonde and a sporty convertible. You may not be able to fuck the 'blonde' but at least you'll be seen with her and a cool car.

An aside—anywhere that makes abortion illegal (or painfully restricted) should NOT have access to the little blue granite schlong enabler. I’m looking at you Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, West Virginia, Wisconsin and Wyoming.

According to a study by the Center for the Development of Advanced Technologies, from July to September 2022, Russians purchased 88% more packages of drugs to increase potency (2.7 million) compared to the same period last year. (source)

War is hell—especially when you can’t get a stiffy.