Liar, liar, pants in full, level 5 blaze

 Well, Cheeto’s been booked for the fourth time in five months. I guess he’s on the catch and release arrest plan. He was allowed to submit his height and weight in advance to make the process shorter. OF COURSE he lied like the grifting stack of rabid, unwashed, oleaginous sweat socks that he is.

He says he’s 6’3”—not in this lifetime. He says he’s 215 pounds—possibly at birth but most def not now.

Also, that mug shot? He was obviously doing one of his I’m-campaigning-as-a-big-tough-guy poses and, waddya know, according to the NY Post, merch featuring his nasty, bloated visage is already available on his site.

What an A.S.S. (Always Selling Shit).